Fear Is Our Enemy
Like anything else in your life, once fear is properly identified and isolated, it is more likely to stay in its place so that it cannot unnecessarily prevent you from living your life on your terms
 
Fear can sometimes play a disproportionate role in your life and in your decision making.  You may make choices, or worse, not make choices for the sole purpose of avoiding situations that cause worry or fear.
 
When fear takes up an unhealthy amount of space in your life, it can suppress your desire to learn new things.  It can intimidate you into believing that you may not be up to facing the challenges that you inevitably experience when living your life.   It can keep you from meeting new people and it can keep you from taking the necessary steps you need to take in order to better understand your environment and everything it comprises.
 
Fear can flat out paralyze you and prevent you from moving forward, from acting on your dreams, and from pursuing the things that you would otherwise be passionate about.  Fear can present a very real barrier to many of the key components of a fulfilling life, such as happiness, peace of mind, enjoyment, enthusiasm, and love.
 
Today, possibly more than ever before, fear of each other is front and center.   As a citizen of our country, you may fear citizens of a foreign country.  As a believer of a certain religion, you may fear those who follow a different religion.  As a resident of one block, you may fear residents on the next block.  As a member of one race, you may fear those that are members of another race.  You may spend time worrying about the behavior of others and its potential impact on you.  
 
Many of these fears are uniquely human, meaning that they do not exist anywhere else in nature.  Humans have the unique ability to apply logic and reason beyond what exists instinctually or innately.  Because human minds and emotions have developed further and faster than any other living beings on the planet, humans operate with greater awareness.
 
These traits can work against you, as well, for the simple reason that greater awareness of yourself and your surroundings can quickly lead to the realization that there are also many things that you do not know nor understand.  Fear of the unknown is natural. At a minimum, it is natural to approach the unknown with caution and prudence.
 
It is at this point, however, that the divide can occur and the real danger exists.  If you recognize what you do not know or understand and move forward, regardless, in an effort to learn something, make a new friend, or gain some experience then it is likely that you are in control of your fear and you are not letting it rule the decisions you make.
 
If fear prevents you from trying to at least gain a clearer understanding of what is unknown to you, then fear will define your relationships and you will be limited to the acquaintance of those you know well and believe that you fully understand.  Fear wins and you lose.  We all lose.
 
In my profession, my number one objective is to proactively identify the needs of the credit union and then to take action that ensures we effectively meet those needs.  It is a dynamic environment so I am consistently evaluating and re-evaluating the actions we have taken and the steps we still need to take.
 
As you can imagine, a huge part of this process is identifying the appropriate human resources that are essential to meeting these needs and making sure that they are in a situation that highlights their individual strengths and puts them in the best possible position to succeed personally, professionally, and organizationally.
 
If I set out to achieve this objective every day without an open mind and a willingness to meet new people, different people with different ideas and different life stories and experiences, our business would quickly become one dimensional and we would be unable to relate to our clientele, clearly not a winning strategy for success.
 
At each moment in my life when I have taken the time to get to know someone or to try something new, I have always gained from the experience.  I do not mean to imply that I like everyone that I have ever met or enjoyed every experience that I have ever had, but I can tell you with certainty that I came away from each instance with more knowledge and a greater understanding.  Even if the knowledge I gained was of somebody or something that I wanted no part of, I was more informed and I certainly was no longer fearful of whatever had previously been unknown to me.
 
Complete freedom from fear is probably unrealistic and it may not even be desirable.  A little dose of fear helps to keep you grounded.  Fear brings rationalization into the decision-making process.  It is always important to consider the negative side of any choice before it is made and rational fear usually comprises a healthy portion of any potentially negative result.
 
For instance, fear has a rightful place in your mind before you decide that you are going to bungee jump off that bridge.  Fear belongs on the handlebars in front of you before you decide to crank your motorcycle up to 100 miles per hour.
 
Your task is to make sure that the fear you recognize and acknowledge in the choices that you make is proportionate to the decisions you consider and the consequences you face.  You cannot let fear control you or divide you.
 
Armed with the knowledge that fear often is a byproduct of what you do not know or understand, perhaps you can all take a small step forward if you are willing to take another look at a situation, a person, or an event that has been the source of that fear. 
 
Like anything else in your life, once fear is properly identified and isolated, it is more likely to stay in its place so that it cannot unnecessarily prevent you from living your life on your terms.
 
In addition to identifying and understanding fear, you are probably already aware that you will also need a dose of courage to properly handle it as you progress through life.  I have included one of my favorite quotes as something else to think about.  You can find it in Gold Star Families Memorial and Park, the nation’s finest tribute to Police Officers who have made the ultimate sacrifice.
 
“Courage isn’t freedom from fear, it is being afraid and moving forward anyway.”

The Imperfect Perfectionist
(This is the fourth chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy)
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You may believe that you are your own harshest critic.  That is probably exactly how it should be. No one is better suited to complete an honest and accurate assessment of you than you, so go ahead and be a responsible critic of yourself and your efforts.
 
You should expect more from yourself than anyone else will expect.  You should be willing and able to set a standard for yourself above where anyone else could set it for you. Demanding your best effort and realizing when you can do better are traits that will serve you well and virtually ensure that you will make good decisions that are consistent with your goals and a self-directed lifestyle.
 
The trap to avoid here is not to overdo it.  Being unrealistically hard on yourself will only serve to impede your progress and damage your own self-worth.  In being overly critical of yourself, you may inadvertently create a situation that stunts your personal growth. In some cases, you may even convince yourself that you will never live up to your own standards or your own definition of perfection.
 
Do you consider yourself a perfectionist?  Your concept of perfection might be enabling you to not make any decisions at all because you have made yourself believe that you will just end up finding all of the flaws and errors in those decisions, real or imagined. 
 
My friend, the Imperfect Perfectionist reached this exact same point in the road a while back.  Before she knew any better, she was content to live her life under the belief that she wasn’t accomplishing much because her standards were too high.  It was somehow okay if she didn’t finish a project or meet a deadline because her perfectionist standards were more important than production or the intended results.
 
Then, one day and purely by chance, she ran into a couple of old college friends, the Guiltless Wonder and Infinite Self.  They got to talking and reminiscing about old times and it wasn’t long before they were filling each other in on what had been going on in their lives.  It is important to note that, at this stage of her life, the Imperfect Perfectionist was known simply as the Perfectionist.  As she told her story, Infinite Self almost immediately recognized that Perfectionist was simply living under a similar false pretense to the one that Infinite Self had previously subscribed.
 
Perfectionist was using her perfectionist standards to excuse her behavior and give her cover for what had otherwise been a less than remarkable existence.  When the Guiltless Wonder and Infinite Self shared their insight and the experiences that helped them to become super heroes, Perfectionist grasped what they were telling her and decided, on the spot, that she did not want to hold herself back any longer.
 
Ironically, at the exact moment that Perfectionist decided that she would become the Imperfect Perfectionist, she gained super hero abilities.  By embracing her imperfections, she, in a way, became perfect or at least a person who possessed extraordinary powers.
 
She decided that her objective, from that day forward, would be to seek a path and journey that provided her with the best possible way forward.  She would no longer expect to make all of the right moves and take all of the right steps.
 
She began to understand that she could not become a good decision maker without making some bad decisions along the way.  Her key would be to determine what she could learn and how she could grow from her experiences.  To do that, she just had to make sure that she had actual experiences and that she didn’t shrink from the challenges they presented to her.
 
She accepted the fact that she was not perfect and that she never would be.  She further determined that she would be guided in her endeavors by her pursuit of perfection, all the while remaining imperfect.
 
So, how in the world does that make sense?  How can the Imperfect Perfectionist be happy, imperfect, and pursuing perfection at the same time?  The answer is that she understood she could be imperfect, but that she could still achieve and experience perfection.  Further, that answer had been right in front of her the whole time.
 
When she really thought about her life and her experiences prior to her transformation into the Imperfect Perfectionist, she remembered many moments and instances that were actually perfect.
 
She thought about the day she met her future spouse and despite how much time had passed since that encounter, she still remembered everything about that moment as if it had just happened a few hours ago.
 
She thought about the birth of her child.  She could feel the immensity of that arrival in her heart as if it was actually happening all over again right at that moment.
 
She thought about the time that she hit the game winning shot for her eighth-grade basketball team during a game against their arch rivals.
 
She thought about all of those instances and moments and several more and she realized that the common thread amongst every single one of them was that she would not change a thing.  Each of those moments played out exactly how she wanted them to and how she might have dreamed they would had she thought about them happening before they actually did.
 
By definition, that is perfection and she knew it was achievable because she had already experienced it. 
 
If you were to embrace your imperfections and commit to the pursuit of perfection anyway, just like the Imperfect Perfectionist, what might you be able to accomplish? 

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This is the 4th chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series. 

Be sure to check Scott's Spot on Patrolmen's Dispatch for each chapter of his Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy; and his ongoing Serial Decision Maker series.

You The Conqueror
(This is the last chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy)
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​Many years ago, my wife and I lived in England. One of our favorite places to visit, while we lived there, was the Tower of London. It is full of 1,000 years of history and every time we went, I learned something new.

One of focal points, at the Tower, is the story of William the Conqueror, a key figure in the rich history of England. His is a story of victory, courage, and success as an early leader of the country, which is all great, but I have always been more fascinated with his name.

Was he known as William the Conqueror while he was alive or is that a moniker subsequently invented by biographers and historians? I don’t know, but can you imagine the advantage you would have in your career today if you were known as You the Conqueror?

I would be willing to bet that every one of your calls would be returned promptly. Everyone would undoubtedly pay attention at every one of your meetings. You’d probably be able to get a reservation at any of the best restaurants. Your resume would be at the top of every potential employer’s pile were you to ever be looking for a job.

You get the picture.

While I was writing this super hero series, I realized that if you incorporated all of the processes and suggestions that each of our five super heroes have outlined, you would become You the Conqueror in your own personal way.

I wouldn’t necessarily suggest that you begin to openly refer to yourself as such, but you would surely gain the inner strength that you would need to feel like a conqueror. After all, what else could possibly stand in your way?

The only other obstacle that I can think of that we have yet to discuss is the fear of success. Were you to achieve success, particularly of the consistent and prolonged type, you most certainly would also incur increased responsibilities and additional expectations. A brighter spot light will almost always increase the amount of scrutiny you face. The more success you have and the more attention you receive for that success, the more people will be inclined to criticize you. The more relevant you become, the more opinions people will develop and those opinions will vary greatly.

Everything that you achieve extracts a price from you. You could be forgiven if you were hesitant to run toward success if these consequences would be the price that you would pay for it.

At this point, however, there is no logical reason for you to feel overwhelmed or that you are not up to any of the challenges that your success might bring your way. Besides, you aren’t just you anymore, you are You the Conqueror!

What you can and should do is figure out the exact price that you are willing to pay for success and then set your aspirations accordingly.

As an example, you may decide that you are unwilling to travel extensively for your career even if it might mean that you will make more money. You may determine that you would like to spend more time with your family in exchange for a lighter travel schedule and less money.

You may decide that you are best suited to work at a smaller company because you value the relationships with your co-workers and you believe that it would be more difficult to achieve those quality relationships at a larger organization.

Perhaps you place loyalty at the top of your list of redeeming qualities and you decide that you will continue to reciprocate the loyalty you have been shown by staying with your current company rather than looking for potentially greener grass elsewhere.

The great thing about your goals and how you define success, is that they are uniquely yours to create and subscribe to. The balance and harmony that you seek in your life are yours to develop and you are the only one who gets to determine when you get there and what you will do once you are there.

You have the tools to make your decisions in a guilt free environment, without self-imposed limitations. You are free to pursue your own personal perfection while embracing all of your imperfections. You have strengthened your resolve so you can proceed forward without worrying about being knocked off your path. If someone or something tries to get in your way, you know exactly what your options are.

You have so much momentum and so many things going for you, success should be the last thing that you worry about. The only thing left for you to do is to go out and achieve your potential.

You are You the Conqueror!

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This is the last chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series. 

Be sure to check Scott's Spot on Patrolmen's Dispatch for each chapter of his Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy; and his ongoing Serial Decision Maker series.

​The ICE Man
(This is the sixth chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy)
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Before I tell you about my super hero friend the ICE man, let me assure you that he has nothing to do with the movie Top Gun.
 
My friend actually obtained his name and his super hero abilities when he came up with a formula for dealing with the poorly behaved, bad intentioned people and the unintended or difficult circumstances he experiences in his life.  The ICE part of his name is actually an acronym for the choices he has when he has an encounter with any of these people or has trouble on his hands. 
 
He figured out that when he does, he can either Ignore, Confront, or Embrace the person or the situation in question.
 
He can choose one, two, or all of these options, but any decision he makes when dealing with these obstacles or challenges will involve these actions. He may start in one direction and then move to another as the situation evolves.  He may choose a course and resolve the matter immediately upon doing so.  It may be a long and drawn out course of action that involves all three of these choices, but no matter what he decides, it will be a choice within the boundary of these three alternatives.
 
The ICE Man is similar to my other super hero friends in that he has devised a simple process for mastering fears or handling unpleasant or unforeseen situations.  Where he differs is that his skills apply to external factors, whereas my other super hero friends all confront fears and obstacles that come from within.  His skill set often involves an interaction with someone and that alone makes his problem solving a bit more complex.
 
Working with other people can be difficult and challenging, especially if these other people behave in a way that has a negative impact on you.  When you were growing up, there was undoubtedly a kid or kids who didn’t want to follow the rules, didn’t want to listen to the teacher, or was otherwise trying to get away with something.  Worse yet, there may have been a kid who took to bullying you or tried other ways to intimidate you and make your life miserable.
 
The power of negative actions has always been stronger than the power of positive actions when matched up one on one.  Further, you will always be at a slight disadvantage as someone who follows the rules and is respectful of others when having to contend with someone who acts as though the rules do not apply to him.
 
As an adult, you are likely surrounded by the adult version of the poorly behaved children just described.  From the erratic driver who seems to think nothing of cutting you off on the expressway, to the slack at work who tries to get by doing as little as possible leaving you to carry their weight in addition to your own.
 
No matter where you are in life or what your chosen profession is, these people are present doing what they can to be underhanded, act unfairly, and generally get away with whatever they can while ignoring the rules.
 
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can devise a plan to permanently avoid these people and don’t let yourself think that because you might have successfully separated yourself from one of these people there won’t be another one waiting to wreak the same amount of havoc and cause the same amount of angst in your life.
 
The ICE Man had too many of these unsatisfactory experiences for too long of a period of time and he finally determined that he needed to do something about it.  So, instead of just telling himself it would all be better tomorrow, he decided to make a list of his options.  To his surprise, after much thought and deliberation, he realized that there were really only three choices for him to make when a poorly behaved person or difficult experience presented itself. 
 
He was actually comforted by the fact that he could only come up with three, in part because it simplified his thought process and made his task of setting a course to effectively handle these matters easier to comprehend.
 
Ignoring a badly behaved person can be advantageous because it sends the message that the poor behavior is not going to have any influence on you.  This is a particularly powerful message when you consider that the motivation for most poorly behaved people is to cause turmoil and discomfort for well-behaved people.
 
Generally speaking, poorly behaved people and especially poorly behaved children, behave in that way because they are trying to get attention and any attention is better than no attention.  Gaining attention is the avenue they use to get what they want.  I want candy and my parents won’t let me have it so I am going to throw a fit until they give in.  Or, I am hungry, but I don’t have a lunch so I am going to bully you until you give me your lunch money.
 
If you are successful at ignoring these people and this type of behavior, the avenue that they use to get what they want from you is closed.  Even poorly behaved kids and adults will realize that they need to go elsewhere to achieve their desired result if they are continually unsuccessful in getting it through you.
 
These small steps or adjustments are exactly the moves that you need to make on your path of self- improvement.  Rarely is their one thing that you can do that instantaneously erases your fears, doubts, or worries, but if you take the time to understand the root cause of those fears and worries and then identify steps that you can take to address them, you will eventually push past them and they will no longer present themselves as the obstacles they have previously been to you.
 
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, simply ignoring someone, or your fears concerning them, will not make them go away and you must consider confronting him or her in order to mitigate or alleviate the problem they are creating with you.  You likely do not enjoy or seek out confrontation.  You may even try to avoid it all costs, but if you are completely unwilling to confront anyone or anything at any time, you must also recognize that you are sacrificing your long-term peace just so you do not need to take even a slight step outside of your comfort zone.
 
The ICE Man looked at issues that probably could have been short lived and he found that many of them ended up creating uneasiness and angst for him over a prolonged period of time.  When he let situations or problems go unchecked, they festered and ended up being much more of an issue as time progressed.
 
He realized that he wasn’t doing himself any favors by choosing not to deal with situations as they arose in a direct and forthright manner.  He eventually found that, sometimes, just by dealing with something immediately, he was actually able to minimize the confrontation that was necessary to solve the problem.
 
Often times, a swift and decisive confrontation will settle a matter or shut down a behavior once and for all and that is something that even a dedicated pacifist must consider.  This is not to suggest that you turn toward physical confrontation.  Many times, your willingness to address poor behavior through your use of sound logic and reason will take care of the matter.
 
However remote the possibility may seem, some people are simply unaware of how they are coming across to you and once you let them know what impact their behavior is having on you, they either adjust their approach or go elsewhere.
 
Confrontation can also involve the use of an authority figure or a trusted third party.  A productive meeting conducted by an effective mediator can go a long way toward resolving these situations.
 
The main point here is that an effective confrontation, conducted responsibly and with pure intent, can create an undesired consequence for the poorly behaved person.  Most bad behavior exists precisely because it has gone unchecked.  Once an undesired or unexpected consequence for that action is created, the poor behavior is likely to go away or at least go elsewhere.
 
The ICE Man certainly learned this first hand and he now counts his willingness to consider confronting a person or an issue that is causing him grief and aggravation as one of his three viable choices for effective resolution.
 
Just as confronting a matter can lead to a desired result, so too can the opposite action.  Embracing a problem or a particular individual who has previously created difficulties for you can work just as well.
 
Embracing a person or problem is obviously different than confronting one from the standpoint that you are considering the possibility that there may be some common ground between you and that person or problem.
 
In a confrontation, your desire is to make the bad behavior change or go away.  When you embrace someone or something, your desire is to develop a better understanding of what is being said or acted out with the possibility that the common ground you develop will help to resolve the problem.
 
Sometimes, your own anxiety can mask something that is valuable to the decision-making process.  You may get yourself so worked up about a problem you are having with someone that you will miss a clue that could very well lead to a viable solution to that same problem.  That clue may be found in the form of a common thread that you did not realize existed between you and your supposed nemesis.
 
The ICE Man discovered that if he were at least willing to consider that he might have something in common with someone who had otherwise caused him trouble, the situation may not be as dire as he originally thought.
 
Have you ever taken part in an argument with someone only to realize that you were actually making the same point, but you had somehow started off on the wrong foot and gotten so upset that you focused solely on making yourself heard instead of also listening to what the other person was saying?  It happens.  It tends to happen more frequently to people who have opinions and are passionate about certain causes and beliefs. 
 
The idea of possibly embracing someone or something that has been troublesome to you takes some work, but it does open up another choice for you.  Another choice leads to another possible and positive consequence and that consequence may be just what you need to effectively resolve a troubling matter.
 
If the embrace of the problem person or matter leads immediately to a resolution, it is all the better.  You effectively resolved a situation and found common ground with someone or something that was previously a nemesis to you.  In many ways, this is the strongest resolution you can reach because you have taken an enemy and made them an ally. 
 
While it is difficult to get to that point, especially because that type of resolution often involves the actions and willingness of someone else over whom you have no control, there is no better way to eliminate a problem than to take it from the negative column and put it squarely in the positive side of your experiences and learning moments.
 
The ICE Man also found that if he first chose to go the route of embracing a troubling person or issue, he still maintained the option of confrontation and that option would become even more powerful if he chose it as a second course of action.  If he chose confrontation at that point, he had the benefit of knowing that he had at first tried to accept what was happening.  Sometimes, that knowledge strengthened his resolve and made it easier for him to take that step.
 
The next time (probably later today) you run across a person or a situation that is bothersome or troubling to you, remember the options that the ICE Man identified that ultimately led to his super hero powers.  You can choose to either Ignore, Confront, or Embrace.  When you do, you will be effectively taking action and working toward a much more desirable result.

This is the sixth chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series. 

Be sure to check Scott's Spot on Patrolmen's Dispatch for each chapter of his Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy; and his ongoing Serial Decision Maker series.

The Guiltless Wonder
(This is the second chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy)
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On the pages of a comic book and on screen in the movies, super heroes often have the power to do extraordinary things.
 
Super heroes come in all different shapes and sizes and they employ a varying degree of different specialties.  Those that are immortalized in print and film tend to be able to save or change the world with their abilities and, generally speaking, we, as mere mortals, are unable to learn how to do what they do or even fully comprehend their greatness.
 
I happen to be more interested in the super heroes among us who have faced fears and conquered obstacles and, in the process, have become experts in mastering the challenges of everyday life.  These super heroes are otherwise completely ordinary, except that they have developed powerful skills that help them effectively stare down the same fears and obstacles that deter and derail others.
 
The Guiltless Wonder is an example of one such super hero.  She has effectively eliminated guilt from her life and her thought processes and, therefore, lives with a clear conscience and a powerful ability to assess situations and events for what they really are.  Her judgment is never clouded by second guesses and, because her mind is clear of guilt, she enjoys every new day for what it is and gets the most out of it.
 
You may ask how the Guiltless Wonder has achieved such an admirable skill.  I asked her that very question and she was very happy to share her process and very confident that anyone who follows his process can learn to do what she does and eliminate guilt from their life.
 
The Guiltless Wonder told me that she employs a three-step process as part of every decision she makes.
 
1. She pays attention to her instincts.
2. She sets out to be understood rather than liked.
3. She carefully deliberates before she finalizes her decision and takes action.

The success that the Guiltless Wonder has had in eliminating guilt is especially remarkable given the destructive nature of this formidable foe.  As you may know all too well, guilt can be one of the biggest detractors you will face in your attempt to make good decisions on a consistent basis.  When guilt is present, it can dampen your joy, subtract from your peace of mind, and rob you of the confidence that is essential as you move forward through life.
 
At its core, guilt is something that you feel when you regret an action or an event that has already taken place and cannot be changed.  By the time you experience guilt, there is rarely anything that you can do about what has already occurred. Guilt is a harmful additive that is likely to have clouded your thoughts and created unnecessary anxiety for you at some point, if not on a regular basis. 
 
A feeling of guilt can also compound whatever negative emotions you have about a prior event or decision by influencing decisions you try to make going forward.  Now, instead of the event being an isolated case that is addressed and dealt with, guilt pervades other thoughts and actions and may project onto other people and situations that otherwise have nothing to do with the original event that gave rise to the guilt to begin with.  This is the definition of taking a bad situation and making it much worse. 
 
So, let’s take a cue from the Guiltless Wonder and minimize the damage your feelings of guilt have already caused you by setting a course that will effectively block it from ever having undue influence over you again.
 
The first step that the Guiltless Wonder takes to steer clear of guilt is to be in tune with her instincts.  She incorporated this idea into her decision making early on when one of her elementary school teachers instructed her not to change her answer on a test she was taking.  Her teacher cited some source or data that indicated that your first answer is usually the right answer.  The Guiltless Wonder interpreted this suggestion as another way of saying that she should pay attention to her instincts and her instinctual answer is often the first one that comes to her mind.
 
While she always reserves the right to change her mind if new or more detailed information comes to light, she now knows that her first response is typically the one that is most natural and the one she arrives at before she may start to over think anything. If she has a natural or “gut” feeling for a direction that she may want to take or a decision that she needs to make, she takes a positive step toward avoiding guilt because she is following the course of action that came to her naturally and instinctively.  There is no need to second-guess her actions if she simply is true to her instincts.
 
This is not to suggest that she simply gives way to her primal drive when it comes time to make a decision.  Her moral compass and her own will power also play a vital role.
 
The Guiltless Wonder never worries unnecessarily about what someone may think about her or the action that she takes.  She realized long ago that whether she was liked or people liked what decisions she made was a highly subjective thing.  If she based the validity of her decisions on what other people thought, she would face a constantly moving target and probably set herself up to always feel guilty.
 
Instead, and to the extent that other people can influence her desired outcomes, she determined that it would be far more worthwhile to focus on being understood. If her actions are understood, she stands a far better chance of avoiding a guilty feeling after having decided.
 
Developing an understanding of a situation, a circumstance, or a decision also helps her to clarify motives and reasoning.  Even if someone doesn’t agree with her, they will not be left to wonder why she ultimately did what she did.  An understanding builds some common ground and, if that exists amongst people, there is much less room for guilt to develop.
 
The Guiltless Wonder develops an understanding with others simply by being able to articulate her thought process and explain what factors she considered and didn’t consider.  To do this effectively, she always takes care to carefully consider her options and the ramifications of her decisions prior to making them.  Careful and considerate deliberation is yet another way for her to avoid feelings of guilt after the fact.
 
If she has done her homework up front and she is comfortable with the process that she went through to arrive at her decision, there just isn’t much of an opportunity for guilt to develop.  Once she has the confidence that she has taken all of the steps necessary to make a good and informed decision, there is no reason to worry about the course she has taken.
 
If there is an art to her decision-making it is that she makes choices with all of the passion and personalization that she can summon without letting her personal tie to the situation at hand cloud her judgment or dilute her conviction.
 
By being alert to and acting in concert with her instincts, setting out to be understood rather than liked, and employing careful deliberation when considering her options, the Guiltless Wonder has accomplished an extraordinary feat.  She lives peacefully and guilt free and you can too if you follow her example.

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This is the second chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series. 

Be sure to check Scott's Spot on Patrolmen's Dispatch for each chapter of his Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy; and his ongoing Serial Decision Maker series.

Infinite Self
(This is the third chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy)

Do you create your own limitations?  If you do, you have a lot of company.  Maybe you have made a habit of convincing yourself that you will not be up to the task at hand.  Perhaps you are worried about looking foolish in your pursuit of a dream or an idea. Maybe you think you lack the confidence or the requisite skill set to achieve success. 
 
When you examine this obstacle and the extent, if any, to which it applies to you and your decision-making, you must be willing to honestly assess your own opinion of yourself.  How you view yourself will go a long way in determining whether or not you have a healthy and productive perspective or if you are holding yourself back because you are unduly consumed with negative thoughts.  If you feel as though you cannot get out of your own way, you may very well be unnecessarily succumbing to your own self-imposed limitations.
 
Luckily, I know someone who I think can help you break free of those barriers.  His name is Infinite Self and he is another one of my associates who appears to be ordinary, but who actually has super hero abilities because he has developed a three step system that has helped him to live completely free of self-imposed limitations.
 
I asked him to outline his system and the three steps that comprise it and this is what he said:
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• Understand nature and your instincts
• Develop and maintain positive self esteem
• Find your motivation

 
He told me that he happened upon his super hero ability when he realized that he was feeling unfulfilled.  He took some time to look inward and to think about what common threads existed in his decision making to that point, and it became clear to him that all of the barriers and limitations that had blocked him from the sort of progress he desired were self-imposed.
 
This was a major break-through for him because once he identified that his obstacles were his own, he knew he only needed to work on one person to fix what wasn’t working and he immediately set out to do so.  This realization also helped him to isolate the fact that self-created, otherwise imaginary limitations, do not exist anywhere else in nature.  They only exist within the human mind.
 
This thought led him to think about a nature show he had recently watched involving the life of a tiger.  He had noticed that when a tiger is hunting for his next meal, he does not spend one moment worrying about whether or not he should pursue his prey for fear that he might not catch him, or that his tail might get caught on a branch.  The tiger does not worry about what the other tigers will think if he goes home hungry.  He instinctually hunts and pursues his goals because his survival depends on it.  His understanding of his habitat and what he needs to do to survive and thrive in his surroundings carries the day, every day. 
 
A tiger’s actions are guided by his instincts, in part, because his survival depends on it.  Humans have instincts as well, but our evolved and complex thought processes and reasoning skills tend to make it easier to forget we have them or to otherwise override them. 
 
Infinite Self began to wonder how different his life would be if he approached his decision-making opportunities as if his survival and well-being depended on it?  He figured that if he were to achieve the happiness and fulfillment he was seeking, he would have to bring his natural instincts into play as a first step.
 
He further reasoned that the tiger’s version of nature doesn’t allow for much time for second guessing or negative thoughts to develop.  If he could discover or re-awaken his natural instincts, it would help him to overcome his nagging doubts.  Concentrating on his journey forward would keep him busy and productive, which would reduce the amount of time that Infinite Self had to create those self-imposed obstacles.
 
He then started thinking about his view of himself.  Self-esteem is the mirror reflection of how you see yourself and he did not like what he saw.  So, he began to ask himself some difficult questions like why in the world he would ever work against himself in his pursuit of happiness and consistency?  Why would he deliberately make it more difficult to enjoy his life?
 
So he set out to answer those questions because he knew that if he did not feel good about himself, he owed it to himself to figure out why and to address those issues.  He determined that self-esteem was a huge part of the base that he would need to build in order to make good decisions. 
 
He identified a root cause of his poor self-esteem as a nagging fear of failure.  When it came to making a decision and taking action, he found that he didn’t want to face the disappointment of falling short or to feel foolish in his pursuit and because he hadn’t yet bothered to put himself out there, he was devoid of the types of positive examples he needed to build confidence and push past his self-esteem issues.
 
He thought about people he admired and he realized that anyone who had ever achieved any kind of success had to be willing to look foolish in pursuit of that dream.  Every one of the examples he could think of involved people who had fallen short, felt silly, or taken a few lumps along their path to success.
 
Infinite Self was able to tie the development of his self-esteem directly to his new found understanding of nature and the role his instincts play when he realized that he naturally sought out things that made him feel good and he sought to avoid events and circumstances that made him feel bad.  Once he did something that made him feel like an idiot, he was naturally motivated to not feel that way again.  He became determined to get past his frustration or that feeling of falling short.
 
When he embraced this reality and learned from his experiences, especially those that weren’t what he was seeking, he gained strength and confidence and his self-esteem soon blossomed as a result.  Once he was making mistakes and falling short, he was on the path to success.  What he had previously feared actually became a great motivator.
 
The fulfillment he gained and the reward he reaped from setting goals and achieving them made him feel so good and capable, he knew that if he ever needed any internal motivation to keep him on his positive path, he would never again struggle to find it.
 
He still had one more step to take, however, and that came upon him when he realized that when he created his own limitations, it had a devastating effect on the people around him as well. 
 
As a manager of people, if he did not display a willingness to try new things and to trust others and their abilities, every one of his employees suffered as a result and innovation throughout the organization diminished.  After all, if the leader of a particular group or unit is stunted in his own forward progress, how would anyone who is a part of that group or unit be able to progress?
 
As a parent, he knew that one of the greatest things he could do for his kids was to set positive examples for them.  If he were to continually talk himself out of pursuing goals and seeking out opportunities to put his best foot forward, he imagined the negative impact that example would have on his children.
 
Thinking of these examples, he knew that forms of external motivation were all around him if he ever needed to draw from them.
 
Infinite Self has discovered the joy of living life free of self-imposed barriers and imagined limitations and you can as well.
 
Author’s Note:  This is actually the second version of this article.  I accidentally wrote over the first version when I was writing this series of articles.  I sulked for a while.  I was frustrated when I thought about the amount of time I lost and I was not looking forward to re-writing the article as a complete do-over, but once I got past all of that, I took a deep breath and I thought about what my friend Infinite Self would do.  I sat down to re-write it as soon as I could.  I actually like this version better than the original.
 
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Be sure to check Scott's Spot on Patrolmen's Dispatch for each chapter of his Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy; and his ongoing Serial Decision Maker series.