From The Serial Decision Maker On Goals:

Results are great, but the majority of your learning and the experiences that you gain in your lifetime actually take place along the path that you travel as you move toward those results.  In fact, most of your life is spent in the pursuit stage of your goals and dreams, not in the actual end result of those pursuits.

Decision Points are part of Scott Arney's online educational series,  The Serial Decision Maker.

A New Use for an Old Cliché: Ignorance is Bliss
On your journey to find bliss, stay as far away from ignorance as possible

This cliché implies that being clueless immunizes you against unhappiness.  I could not disagree more.  This might even be my least favorite cliché of all time.
 
Ignorance is not something to seek.  To be ignorant, you must not be educated in any way.  You must be unwilling to learn or otherwise incapable of learning. You may not have any intellectual curiosity and if it starts to arise, you must squash it.  
 
If you are ignorant, you cannot be aware of your surroundings.  You are unable to care for or about other people because you do not have the capacity to understand them or their feelings. Ignorance does not allow for any level of engagement or perspective.  Any experience you have is meaningless because you are not paying attention anyway.
 
Ignorance ensures that you never progress or grow or achieve anything at all.  If something is wrong, you will not be able to do anything to fix it and if something wonderful is happening, it will be impossible for you to enjoy it.
 
The only existence I can think of that would be worse than spending your life in a state of ignorance, would be falsely thinking you were happily ignorant. 
 
A life devoid of passion, knowledge, love, and achievement is the furthest thing from bliss.  Happiness cannot be experienced without sadness.  Gain cannot be experienced without loss.
 
On your journey to find bliss, stay as far away from ignorance as possible.

By Scott Arney, Chief Executive Officer, Chicago Patrolmen’s Federal Credit Union.
This article is part of Arney's new series, entitled A New Use for an Old Cliché.
This installment is part of Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

​From The Serial Decision Maker On Business: 

Personal awareness encompasses an appreciation of where you have come from, an understanding of where you are, and a clear idea of where you are heading.

Decision Points are part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

The Afternoon Sun

There is just something about that afternoon sun.
 
I am drawn to the sun like the Energizer bunny is drawn to that battery of his.  I am absolutely happier when the sun is out, and I am more productive when the days (as measured by dawn to dusk) are longer.  It is easier for me to get up and get going when the sun has already risen, and I tend to think more optimistically when the sun is shining brightly.
 
All of this begs the question of why in the world I live in Chicago, but that is a topic for another day. For now, let’s just say that living in an area that experiences way more than its share of clouds and cold makes me appreciate the sun even more when I can get it, especially when I go on vacation to find it.
 
As much as I love the sun, the afternoon sun, which I define as the sun between 4:00 and 6:00 is my favorite.  Having just returned from a sunny vacation, during which I had plenty of time to think about the afternoon sun and to contemplate its wonderous effect on me, I thought I would share a few of my observations in the hopes they might resonate with you and inspire you to seek out your own sunny time.
 
While there are many qualities of afternoon sun and many ways that I have found to enjoy that time, I can summarize those qualities and source of enjoyment in three words; 
Warmth, Reflection, and Opportunity.
 
My guess is that if I posed the question of whether you prefer the heat or the cold, the answers would be pretty evenly split, but the concept of warmth unites us all.  Warmth is that center of the thermometer that everybody can agree on.  Whether you gravitate toward the heat of a summer day or you like the cold crisp air of winter, you seek warmth as your comfort zone.  I have never met anybody who prefers to be subject to blazing heat or freezing cold twenty-four hours a day!  
 
I have been fortunate to experience afternoon sun in many places and climates and when it comes time for that sun to tilt toward its final descent on the horizon for the day, the warmth it generates is my definition of perfection.  On what has been a hot day, the less pleasant elements such as humidity and the fiery mid-day burn subside and are replaced by a temperate glow.  On a cold day when it takes a little longer for the sun to reach its full potential, the afternoon sum often creates the warmest time of the day and eases the harshness of a greyer, less inviting sky.

I have also found that the afternoon sun creates the best time to reflect on the day.  I think this is so because enough of the day has transpired for me to have a good idea of what has been or will be accomplished, but there is still enough time to influence that direction one way or the other before the day ends completely.  In fact, although I am inside right now, I am enjoying a view of some afternoon sun as I write this article and reflect on these observations and where they are headed.
 
A feeling of warmth and a moment of reflection always lead me to contemplate my next opportunity.  I always say that you can’t possibly know where you are going without first understanding where you are and where you have been.  The afternoon sun amplifies my appreciation for the day and what I have experienced and, at the same time, whets my appetite for the opportunity presented by the remainder of the day.  Sometimes, the opportunity is a nice dinner or a card game with my family.  On other occasions, it might be an event that I have looked forward to for a long time.  The opportunity may be as simple as a chance to write a few thoughts down. However small or insignificant the opportunity may be, there is still an opportunity to consider during that afternoon sun.
 
I find warmth, reflection, and opportunity in my afternoon sun and I have defined that as my favorite time in a lifelong appreciation and pursuit of the sun.  My ability to understand and savor these moments brings me joy and a feeling that I have gotten the most out of a day.  Whether or not the afternoon sun means the same thing to you is irrelevant as long as you seek and appreciate your equivalent on a regular basis.
 
Does the warmth that I describe in my afternoon sun define a feeling of comfort and respite for you?  Your warmth may just be your peace of mind or the perfect balance of your emotions.
 
Do you make it a point to reflect each day?  Do you take time to soak up and celebrate something that has gone well?  Do you give thought to things that didn’t go according to plan and figure out how you will do things differently the next time?
 
Do you see opportunity around the corner?  Do you spend a few minutes figuring out where you are at in the day and then set a course for capitalizing on that moment before that day ends?
 
Any day in which you experience warmth, reflection, and opportunity is a great day!  If you have found that time or place to regularly enjoy these things, hold on to it and appreciate it fully.  If you have not, seek it out and don’t stop until you’ve identified it.
 
One last thing about the significance of that afternoon sun and I think about it every time I have the pleasure of enjoying that time with a clear and unobstructed view of the sky. Eventually, that same sun is going to set on the horizon in front of me and rise on the horizon behind me again tomorrow.  My job is to get the most out of the day in between!
​
​This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

​Holiday Spending
Money cannot buy you happiness, but when you manage it effectively, you can at least remove financial worries from your list of concerns

The holiday season is almost here!  Are you prepared?
 
Are you thinking about all of the shopping that you need to do or have you completed most of it already?  Do you know how you will pay for all of the expenses that are a part of every holiday season?  What is your financial strategy?  Do you have one?
 
Do you belong to a Christmas Savings Club and set aside money throughout the year or do you head to your local credit union to apply for a loan to cover your holiday expenses?  Your answer says a lot about how you manage your finances.  While there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong answer, one approach is clearly going to set you up for a more satisfying holiday experience.
 
When you save money for the holidays, you are more prepared for the unexpected, you pay less for your purchases, and you are better able to make decisions on your terms within your time frames.  With your money in hand, you will be ready if a sale pops up in August.  You can typically pace your holiday shopping over any period of time that works for you and you will have more choices because of the flexibility that you created for yourself.
 
When you borrow money to finance the holidays, your choices are more limited, your purchases are more expensive, and you are more subject to someone else’s terms and conditions.  The second you borrow money, you begin to pay for the use of those funds.  The interest that you owe automatically increases the price of the purchases that you make meaning that your funds will not go as far.  You probably won’t have as wide of a selection to choose from because you will be shopping at the latter end of the season and the time that you make available to shop will be subject to shipping restrictions, increased postage and handling costs, and/or crowded stores and the hours they choose to be open.
 
This is not a “have or have not” discussion.  Some people may make themselves believe that their financial situation dictates that they have to borrow to enjoy a nice holiday season.  Not true.  Whether you pay for your holiday shopping with funds that you have saved or funds that you have borrowed boils down to your ability to plan effectively and to use a little will power when necessary.
 
My beloved mother-in-law is a great example of this point.  She raised five children and she worked hard her entire life.  She wasn’t needy in the sense that she made sure that there was food to eat and that her family was clothed, but she was not financially comfortable either.  She had to forego many of the finer material things that many of us strive to accumulate as she strove to make ends meet.
 
Whatever she had or didn’t have, however, was secondary to her love of Christmas and her determination to make sure that she would provide a wonderful holiday experience for her family no matter what her financial circumstances happened to be.
 
At the start of each year, she would begin saving money from each and every paycheck.  Her funds would slowly start to accumulate.  She had an established limit for how much she could afford to save and then spend on each of her children and grandchildren.  As the year would progress, she would be on the lookout for sales so that she could make her funds stretch as far as possible.
 
She always seemed to know what she wanted to buy with little or no help from anyone else and she always found a way to get the absolute maximum from the funds that she had.  She found a way to let each family member know that she had been thinking about them throughout the year and she demonstrated it through the gifts that she provided.
 
She would come up with her own unique ideas and would remember the small, but really important details about what her kids and grandkids liked so that she could personalize her gifts for each recipient.
 
These presents were never extravagant, but when Christmas arrived the entire front room of her house was filled, seemingly to the ceiling, with something for everyone. 
 
We all know, or we should anyway, that the holiday spirit cannot be measured by the quantity of gifts that you give or receive.  It cannot be measured by anything that is tangible or able to be purchased.
 
In our family, the holiday spirit was on display through one woman’s determination to create a memorable experience for her family every year, her unbridled enthusiasm for Christmas, and her selfless devotion to each of us.  Her love of Christmas and the holidays was infectious and it had a tremendous positive influence on us.  The gifts were wonderful, but just a part of the joy that she would create and the fun that we would have.
 
The bottom line is that she did what she needed to do to fulfill her dream of what she wanted Christmas to be like for her family.  It was a goal that was personal to her and she made it a point to dedicate herself to it year after year.
 
Whether or not your financial decisions are at all impacted by the holidays, there is something for all of us to learn from this example.  The status of your financial situation should not be measured by the amount of money you have or don’t have, but rather the decisions that you make and the actions that you take to align your finances with your personal goals and financial objectives.
 
We also know that money cannot buy you happiness, but when you manage it effectively, you can at least remove financial worries from your list of concerns so that you can concentrate on other, more important things.
 
If you’re lucky, you have your own version of my mother-in-law in your family.  If not, maybe you can be the one who leads by example.  You may even find a little more holiday spirit along the way!

​This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

From The Serial Decision Maker On Introspection:

Today is the only day that you have to reflect on, learn from, and build upon yesterday.

Decision Points are part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

The Man Who Knew Too Little​
It is healthy to remember that there is always more you can learn

​This is both the title of a very funny, under-rated Bill Murray film made in 1997 and a contender for the title of my biography should it ever be written, which is very unlikely.
 
The Man Who Knew Too Little, the movie, is a spoof of The Man Who Knew Too Much, a Jimmy Stewart movie made in 1956.  In the original version, Jimmy Stewart plays a physician who decides to take matters into his own hands when assassins planning to execute a foreign diplomat kidnap his son.  In the spoof, Bill Murray is mistaken for a world class spy when he unwittingly stumbles upon a plot to assassinate world leaders.
 
I don’t want to spoil the respective endings for you if you have not seen these movies, but I will say that the outcomes are similar despite the vastly different and circuitous routes that were taken to achieve them.  This leads me back to the book.
 
The Man Who Knew Too Little, the biography that will never be written, is a direct reference to my wonderment at the immensity of life.  Despite spending a considerable amount of my time studying everything worth studying, from people to books to subjects to theories and virtually everything in between, I am amazed at how little I have actually learned compared to what I could potentially learn.  For me, this realization is both a blessing and a curse.
 
It is a blessing because it motivates me to keep learning and to be open minded as to what else is out there that I have yet to comprehend, let alone consider.  It is a curse because I often find myself feeling awkward in a new situation despite having spent so much time preparing contingency plans and thinking about how I might handle the unexpected should it arise.
 
Given the choice, however, I would rather be a man who knows too little than a man who knows too much…with a few key disclaimers.
 
I certainly don’t want to be the man who knew too little during a crisis or a time when others are relying on me to come through for them.
 
I absolutely don’t want to be the man who knew too little about his loved ones, friends, and colleagues.
 
I would never want to be the man who knew so little that he wasn’t able to recognize new opportunities or continue to evolve as a person.
 
That said, I think it is healthy to remember that there is always more you can learn.  For me, that knowledge helps to make me a better listener.  I have always been interested in people and in learning about their individual stories.  If I think that I can learn something from that person, I am even more interested in hearing what they have to say.
 
I have also found that I am less likely to jump to conclusions and much more likely to seek input and new ideas when I approach problem solving from the angle of gathering information and seeking knowledge.  When getting educated is my priority, I am a better decision maker because I tend to be more complete in my analysis and more thorough in my investigation of data that is pertinent to the decision I am contemplating.
 
As far being a man who knows too much is concerned, I only have one question.  Have you ever met one that you wanted to spend any time with whatsoever?
 
I continually determine that the more I know, the more I need to know, but my pursuit of knowledge often leaves me with a feeling that I am swimming against the tide.  Today, more than ever, people tend to find their version of knowledge in the places that are simplest to find.  A text or a tweet or a post becomes the new gospel regardless of the source or the validity and credibility of the statement contained within the text, tweet, or post.
 
Discussions, and therefore debates, are becoming less frequent and giving way to a much more casual form of interaction.  Just like raising your voice does not help a person who doesn’t speak your language to understand you any better, exchanging posts with people via social media does not and should not replicate the nature of person-to-person conversations.
 
Healthy debates take place when the participants understand enough about their own thoughts and ideas that they can articulate them with supporting evidence and reasoned logic.  Those same participants also care enough about each other that they take time to research each position to either better argue against it or find some common ground.
 
Sounds like a lot of work doesn’t it?  It is.  It’s no wonder, then, that so many people prefer to limit the extent of their engagement to an on-line post or a snap chat photo.  It is far easier, and it requires far less thought.  Eventually, meaningful explanations, valuable insight, and the overall quality of experience that we will gain from interacting with each other will either become extinct or suffer greatly.  The healthy debate will become a lost art.
 
If that occurs, we will all know too little, but we will each have taken a different route to reach the same outcome.  Some of us will know exactly how we got there and have done all that we could to minimize what we didn’t know.  Others will be mistaken for being experts, but unwittingly stumble toward the same result.
 
Either way, we all know too little.  The question is what are you going to do about it?
 
This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Infinite Self
(This is the third chapter of Scott Arney's Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy)

Do you create your own limitations?  If you do, you have a lot of company.  Maybe you have made a habit of convincing yourself that you will not be up to the task at hand.  Perhaps you are worried about looking foolish in your pursuit of a dream or an idea. Maybe you think you lack the confidence or the requisite skill set to achieve success. 
 
When you examine this obstacle and the extent, if any, to which it applies to you and your decision-making, you must be willing to honestly assess your own opinion of yourself.  How you view yourself will go a long way in determining whether or not you have a healthy and productive perspective or if you are holding yourself back because you are unduly consumed with negative thoughts.  If you feel as though you cannot get out of your own way, you may very well be unnecessarily succumbing to your own self-imposed limitations.
 
Luckily, I know someone who I think can help you break free of those barriers.  His name is Infinite Self and he is another one of my associates who appears to be ordinary, but who actually has super hero abilities because he has developed a three step system that has helped him to live completely free of self-imposed limitations.
 
I asked him to outline his system and the three steps that comprise it and this is what he said:
​

• Understand nature and your instincts
• Develop and maintain positive self esteem
• Find your motivation

 
He told me that he happened upon his super hero ability when he realized that he was feeling unfulfilled.  He took some time to look inward and to think about what common threads existed in his decision making to that point, and it became clear to him that all of the barriers and limitations that had blocked him from the sort of progress he desired were self-imposed.
 
This was a major break-through for him because once he identified that his obstacles were his own, he knew he only needed to work on one person to fix what wasn’t working and he immediately set out to do so.  This realization also helped him to isolate the fact that self-created, otherwise imaginary limitations, do not exist anywhere else in nature.  They only exist within the human mind.
 
This thought led him to think about a nature show he had recently watched involving the life of a tiger.  He had noticed that when a tiger is hunting for his next meal, he does not spend one moment worrying about whether or not he should pursue his prey for fear that he might not catch him, or that his tail might get caught on a branch.  The tiger does not worry about what the other tigers will think if he goes home hungry.  He instinctually hunts and pursues his goals because his survival depends on it.  His understanding of his habitat and what he needs to do to survive and thrive in his surroundings carries the day, every day. 
 
A tiger’s actions are guided by his instincts, in part, because his survival depends on it.  Humans have instincts as well, but our evolved and complex thought processes and reasoning skills tend to make it easier to forget we have them or to otherwise override them. 
 
Infinite Self began to wonder how different his life would be if he approached his decision-making opportunities as if his survival and well-being depended on it?  He figured that if he were to achieve the happiness and fulfillment he was seeking, he would have to bring his natural instincts into play as a first step.
 
He further reasoned that the tiger’s version of nature doesn’t allow for much time for second guessing or negative thoughts to develop.  If he could discover or re-awaken his natural instincts, it would help him to overcome his nagging doubts.  Concentrating on his journey forward would keep him busy and productive, which would reduce the amount of time that Infinite Self had to create those self-imposed obstacles.
 
He then started thinking about his view of himself.  Self-esteem is the mirror reflection of how you see yourself and he did not like what he saw.  So, he began to ask himself some difficult questions like why in the world he would ever work against himself in his pursuit of happiness and consistency?  Why would he deliberately make it more difficult to enjoy his life?
 
So he set out to answer those questions because he knew that if he did not feel good about himself, he owed it to himself to figure out why and to address those issues.  He determined that self-esteem was a huge part of the base that he would need to build in order to make good decisions. 
 
He identified a root cause of his poor self-esteem as a nagging fear of failure.  When it came to making a decision and taking action, he found that he didn’t want to face the disappointment of falling short or to feel foolish in his pursuit and because he hadn’t yet bothered to put himself out there, he was devoid of the types of positive examples he needed to build confidence and push past his self-esteem issues.
 
He thought about people he admired and he realized that anyone who had ever achieved any kind of success had to be willing to look foolish in pursuit of that dream.  Every one of the examples he could think of involved people who had fallen short, felt silly, or taken a few lumps along their path to success.
 
Infinite Self was able to tie the development of his self-esteem directly to his new found understanding of nature and the role his instincts play when he realized that he naturally sought out things that made him feel good and he sought to avoid events and circumstances that made him feel bad.  Once he did something that made him feel like an idiot, he was naturally motivated to not feel that way again.  He became determined to get past his frustration or that feeling of falling short.
 
When he embraced this reality and learned from his experiences, especially those that weren’t what he was seeking, he gained strength and confidence and his self-esteem soon blossomed as a result.  Once he was making mistakes and falling short, he was on the path to success.  What he had previously feared actually became a great motivator.
 
The fulfillment he gained and the reward he reaped from setting goals and achieving them made him feel so good and capable, he knew that if he ever needed any internal motivation to keep him on his positive path, he would never again struggle to find it.
 
He still had one more step to take, however, and that came upon him when he realized that when he created his own limitations, it had a devastating effect on the people around him as well. 
 
As a manager of people, if he did not display a willingness to try new things and to trust others and their abilities, every one of his employees suffered as a result and innovation throughout the organization diminished.  After all, if the leader of a particular group or unit is stunted in his own forward progress, how would anyone who is a part of that group or unit be able to progress?
 
As a parent, he knew that one of the greatest things he could do for his kids was to set positive examples for them.  If he were to continually talk himself out of pursuing goals and seeking out opportunities to put his best foot forward, he imagined the negative impact that example would have on his children.
 
Thinking of these examples, he knew that forms of external motivation were all around him if he ever needed to draw from them.
 
Infinite Self has discovered the joy of living life free of self-imposed barriers and imagined limitations and you can as well.
 
Author’s Note:  This is actually the second version of this article.  I accidentally wrote over the first version when I was writing this series of articles.  I sulked for a while.  I was frustrated when I thought about the amount of time I lost and I was not looking forward to re-writing the article as a complete do-over, but once I got past all of that, I took a deep breath and I thought about what my friend Infinite Self would do.  I sat down to re-write it as soon as I could.  I actually like this version better than the original.
 
****

Be sure to check Scott's Spot on Patrolmen's Dispatch for each chapter of his Super Hero Series, which starts with Fear is Our Enemy; and his ongoing Serial Decision Maker series.

All for One OR One for All

All for one AND one for all worked for the Three Musketeers.  It worked because one was just as committed as the other, but that mutual commitment is rare.  Whether you are making a business decision or assessing relationships in your personal life, the choice often comes down to whether You are All for One OR One for All.
 
In business, the All for One model equates to providing every possible service to a specified group of people or businesses.  Conversely, the One for All model is based on providing one product or service to everybody you can reach.
 
As is so often the case, there are pros and cons for each model and there isn’t necessarily a right answer or a better model.  Like so many decisions and choices, the key is to understand what is at stake, your purpose and mission, and then determine which of these models works for you and your business.
 
Many years ago, the management team of our Credit Union analyzed these options and decided that our best course of action was to focus on the All for One model.  Specifically, we decided to become a full service financial institution and to make it our mission to meet every financial need Police Officers and Police families could ever encounter.  This is the best decision we could have made, but it is also difficult to master.
 
What we decided to be as a business is only one aspect of the equation.  We must consistently demonstrate to our members who we are as a business and, even if we do, there is certainly no guarantee they are going to see us in the way we see ourselves.
 
In the daily execution of the All for One model, we face a lot of variables across many products and services, any one of which can temporarily impair our mission to be everything financial for our members.  In my opinion, however, our focus on this model is the only strategy that will ensure our longevity and prosperity as a business. 
 
When a business chooses to focus on one service or product or the One for All model, it is much easier for that business to become experts at that service or product.  Variables, the enemy of quality, are easier to control, which means fewer things are likely to go wrong.  The difficulty in the use of this model is ensuring that the business stays relevant to its clientele even though it only has one product or service to offer them.
 
When it comes to your personal life, the same decision becomes even more complicated and subjective.  
 
You should know by now that if you attempt to be a friend to everyone, you will likely end up being a friend to no one.  Some friendships will be worth your attempt to be as complete of a friend as you can be, or the personal equivalent of the All for One model.  Others will be limited to the time that you spend or the aspect of your personality that fits that friendship.  If you’re the guy that many of your friends go to for advice, but you otherwise don’t really hang out, then those friendships could be described as the One for All model.
 
In friendships, the model that wins out is often not your choice to make, at least not solely your choice.  Sometimes, you end up taking what you can get.  In other cases, you end up spending much more time and energy on a friendship than you would rather.  
 
As a parent, your relationship with your child is largely defined by nature when that child is born.  The immensity and specificity of his or her needs form the definition of an All for One relationship.  As the parent, you are the sole provider and caretaker of that child.  You are essentially everything to him or her.  As time progresses, however, that relationship inevitably evolves and that’s when things can get tricky.
 
As your child develops into adolescence and young adulthood, he or she will naturally have a more significant say regarding the nature of your relationship and the model will most assuredly change from the All for One version to something not quite as involved, whether you are ready for that change or not.
 
I have given this parent child relationship evolution a lot of thought lately and I really haven’t come up with an exact definition of what occurs yet, but in the context of these models, I think it boils down to this.  No matter what dynamics take place or how quickly your child matures or even how he or she defines the relationship, your best choice as a parent is to remain all in, fully committed to the All for One model.  My only qualifications for offering this opinion are the excellent advice I have received from those who have parented through this evolution before me and the power of my up-to-the minute observational skills.
 
So, whether you are considering your business and your career or your role as a friend or a parent, it helps to not only know what model you are using, but how committed you are to it.  When you face adversity or begin to question your whether you should alter your approach, will you stay the course or change direction?
 
If you made the right decision to begin with and the purpose of your business is in line with the model you are operating, you need not revisit the past.  Focus on the tasks at hand and in front of you.
 
If you understand the nature of your friendships and relate to those friends in ways that are consistent with who you are and what you value, stay true to yourself and give yourself credit for what you add to those relationships, so that when times are tough you don’t unnecessarily question whether you have fallen short as a friend.
 
As far as the parenting goes, there really is only one answer and it was determined the second you became a parent.  You are all in, unconditionally, and without exception, no matter the challenge or how much your relationship changes with age or experiences. 
 
This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Mindset
When you have the right mindset, you form the foundation for good decision-making

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.
 
I don’t know who first said those words, but I grew up hearing them and I don’t remember a time when I was not aware of the meaning of that statement.  In fact, the older I get, the more meaningful this statement becomes.
 
So much of what you accomplish in life is only possible when you first believe you can accomplish it.  Said another way, so much of what goes unfulfilled in life is a result of a lack of belief in yourself and what might be possible should you be willing to try.
 
I have met many people who I thought had a ton of potential and that much of it was untapped.  I have also met a lot people who I felt were unique and as I got to know them better became even more convinced that they were capable of achieving at a level beyond where they were currently at in their life.  In these instances, it was my belief that the common thread was a fear of failure.
 
Fear of failure is a topic in itself for another time, but for the purposes of this example, let’s just say that it is a trait that is unique among humans.  For some reason, many more people than not tend to focus on what they cannot do versus what they can.  Worse, many people who think they cannot do something only think that is the case because they have never actually tried to do whatever it is they think they can’t do.
 
This thought process is akin to the one that you may use when determining what foods you don’t like.  In most cases, you may only think you don’t like something, but you have never actually tried it.
 
If you are one of these people, try this exercise.  Instead of thinking about what you cannot or have not done, focus on what you can do and have done.  Give yourself an opportunity to build some momentum toward the development of a positive mindset.  For example, at the end of a busy day, think about what you crossed off of your to-do list instead of the things that you just couldn’t get to.
 
There is nothing wrong with looking back on each day in order to evaluate what went right and what went wrong, but if you give yourself some credit for what you accomplished versus just kicking yourself for what you didn’t do, you may find that you eventually will empower yourself to start feeling better about what you are doing and to think about what else might be possible.
 
Another common element that can detract from a healthy and positive mindset is the concept of your comfort zone.  Your comfort zone is whatever circle you draw around yourself at any given time that allows you to feel safe and relaxed.  You need comfort in your life and there are definitely times when it is healthy to allow yourself to feel protected and warm and to enjoy the peace of mind that comes with those feelings.
 
You do not need as much comfort as you might think, however, and in that sense the importance of comfort is a bit over rated.  If you think about the greatest, most exciting times in your life, comfort is not likely to be one of the first thoughts those memories invoke.  In fact, those exciting times were likely only possible because you stepped out of your comfort zone.  You gave yourself the opportunity to learn something new or experience something totally different and outside of your routine.
 
Providing comfort to others is noble.  Seeking comfort from others, especially when times are tough, is necessary.  Retreating to your favorite chair or putting on your softest slippers at the end of a hard day is an essential luxury.
 
However, allowing your comfort zone to enable you to stand pat, to not venture into the unknown at least a little bit, or to somehow make it okay to not apply yourself toward worthwhile challenges is completely unacceptable.
 
Do you find that you approach new situations, such as a get together with a new neighbor or the start of a new class, with dread or that you concentrate on all of the things that could go wrong?  If so, recognize what you are doing.  While it may be easy to talk yourself out of attending one function or to put off taking that next class, making a habit of doing so will only lead to a very small and constantly diminishing comfort zone.
 
When you try something new, especially if it involves putting yourself out there for others to see, something will likely go wrong.  If, however, your mindset is positive and you choose to concentrate on the side of your mental ledger that keeps track of what goes right and what is gained, the things that don’t go so well won’t be nearly as important to you as they once were.
 
There is always room for improvement in just about everything that you do, but improvement isn’t possible unless you are out there doing something to begin with.  If you strive to improve as opposed to letting the thought that your endeavor won’t be perfect stop you from trying, you are moving forward with purpose and toward fulfillment and achievement.
 
When you take the steps that are necessary for you to develop a healthy and positive mindset, you also send a strong signal to those around you that you are confident and that you are dealing from a position of strength.  You indicate that you are someone who is interested in taking an active role in determining the outcome of situations with which you are involved.
 
When you have the right mindset, you form the foundation for good decision-making.  Once you make good decisions on a consistent basis, anything is possible!

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.