The Thrill of the Chase?
 
When you are in pursuit of a goal, are you engaged or stressed?  How you answer that question will say a lot about how much you enjoy your life and how you will rate your overall happiness.
 
When you actively and consistently set goals, whether they are financial in nature or otherwise, there is no doubt that your increased awareness will also increase the number of things for you to think about and potentially worry about.  The additional worry often times will lead you to look forward to the end of the pursuit, or the achievement of your goal.  There is nothing wrong with this, unless that anticipation completely overshadows the value of the process itself or what is sometimes referred to as “the thrill of the chase.”
 
If you are an accomplished goal setter, you already understand the importance of goals and the vital role they play in the forward progress of your life and the realization of your ambitions.  If you know how to set goals and why they are important, you will likely achieve your goals as well.  Having an understanding of the importance of goals and their role in the quality of your life, however, does not directly translate into an appreciation for the pursuit of those goals.
 
If you are someone who is constantly and solely focused on the end result, you may be devaluing an equally important part of the process, which is the pursuit of that result and the corresponding journey you will take to get there.
 
Results are great, but the majority of your learning and the experiences that you gain in your lifetime actually take place along the path that you travel as you move toward those results.  In fact, most of your life is spent in the pursuit stage of your goals and dreams, not in the actual end result of those pursuits.
 
If you find yourself wishing that your work day was over, is it possible that you will miss out on a positive experience or a learning opportunity because you are not engaged in the moment?  If you are worried about the outcome of an event or process, might you be less effective in influencing that outcome because you are not focused on the present?
 
As great as it is to reach a successful conclusion, much of the joy to be derived from reaching that conclusion is in the work and the effort that you put forth to reach it.  Without the value that you derive from the work that you do, your results (even if they are successful ones) will be hollow and not as meaningful to you or your development as a person.
 
Let’s use my golf game as an example.  I am not a good golfer, but I do take the game seriously and I am just as competitive on the golf course as I am everywhere else.  I am generally aware of my strengths and weaknesses on the course and what my ability will allow me to do or not do.
 
Knowing these things also helps me to distinguish between a lucky shot and a skillful shot.  Each may end up in the same result on the scorecard, but I can tell you that I always feel better about the shot that I meant to hit and practiced hitting than I do about the lucky shot that happened to end up in the right place.
 
On the rare occasion that I achieve the result I was looking for, I am aware of the work that I did to get there and the execution that was needed on my part to achieve it.  It is a result that I can build upon because I know what I did and why I did it.  A lucky shot doesn’t tell me anything other than I may be just as unlucky on my next shot as I was lucky on this one.
 
Everyone needs something to look forward to, whether it is the purchase you can finally make after saving your money or the retirement you will be able to thoroughly enjoy after a lifetime of hard work.  A little dash of luck and good fortune is always a welcome assist in getting you to where you would like to be, but if you don’t enjoy the process that takes you there, you will miss out on an awful lot of life’s experiences and lessons.
 
If your first thought upon arriving at work every day is that you are another day closer to retirement, you will diminish the value of the work that you do.  While there is nothing wrong with thinking about your ultimate goal of not having to work one day, the work that you do today should be important enough to you to focus on the present; for you to learn as much as possible and for you to have as much positive influence on the course of your life and on those around you as you can.
 
From a financial perspective, you certainly want to properly prepare for your retirement by saving and investing what you will need to enjoy your life when you are no longer earning a paycheck.
 
If you don’t pay any attention to what your financial needs will be when you retire, you are either not going to be able to retire or your retirement will be vastly different than what you hoped it would be.  Conversely, if you spend every day thinking about how much you have to save for the future, you may have plenty of money when you stop working, but you will miss the fun of the present.  You will likely deprive yourself from enjoying the money that you make while you are working because you are solely focused on the future.
 
If, however, you fully appreciate the work that you are doing and the progress that you are making toward the achievement of all of your financial goals, you will be much more likely to find that balance between preparing for the future and enjoying today.
 
If you can constantly learn from your past and keep an eye on your future, while making sure that you live in the moment; you’ll be right where you need to be most of the time.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

My List of Lists

And now for something really original…a list of lists!  Just when you thought you had seen or heard of every list imaginable and received every bit of advice you could from lists and the people who construct them, I’ve got one more for you.
 
I am a big believer in lists.  I use them as memory tools, especially as I get older.  I use them to help keep me organized.  I use them to keep my priorities straight.
 
I thought it might be fun to list my favorites.  You get to decide if it was fun to read through them.  Here are my top ten in no particular order.
 
To Do List
This is arguably the best-known list of all time and for good reason.  I prefer to construct one daily.  For really busy days, I will draw one up the night before so that I give myself a chance to sleep a little better knowing that I at least have a handle on what I need to do when I wake up.  
 
The value of a to do list is virtually limitless because you can apply it to your work or at home.  It can be as detailed as you like or just cover the highlights.  Besides the more obvious benefits, such as the organization and structure that a well written to do list can add to your day, it can assist you in other ways as well.
 
I always feel a sense of accomplishment when I complete something on my to do list and, as I am fond of saying, there are few joys greater in life than crossing something off of your to do list.
 
Yet To Do List
This is more commonly known as a bucket list, but I think that sounds kind of morbid and I try not to be a cliché guy.
 
This is a broader list and probably one that you do not add to or delete from very often.  I love this list because it often forms the basis for happy thoughts and grand dreams. I like to remind myself that there are always sights to see, people to meet, and new things to experience, and this list is a great reminder of those things.
 
Grocery List
Believe it or not, I enjoy grocery shopping.  I generally do the grocery shopping for our family and this list helps me to be efficient and, to a certain extent, contain cost.
 
When I shop for our family, I try to do so once a week.  That means the pressure is on for me to remember everything for all meals for the next several days.  My enjoyment would evaporate quickly if I was stressed about the task. My grocery list keeps me on point, so I remember what we need, and I am not as tempted to stray from the list and buy a bunch of things we don’t need.
 
If you are not a big grocery shopper, then you can adapt this list for your own shopping habits.  Maybe you are a big do-it-yourself weekend warrior and you spend a lot of time at your local hardware store.  If so, a list like this is going to come in handy.
 
If you’ve read this far, you might be thinking that my list of lists is pretty mundane.  Please keep reading.
 
List of Accomplishments
In my mind, I invented this list. 
 
In my desk drawer, I keep a list of the ten things that I have done in my life of which I am most proud.  This is not an ego thing.  It is a source of inspiration for me on a tough day.  It is a great reminder that I have had some wonderful experiences and I need that reminder the most when I have a day when I feel as though I don’t know anything, and I am not doing anything right.
 
This list helps to keep me focused on the things that are most important and determined to move forward with the intent of adding accomplishments to my list.
 
Daily Reflection List
I replay every day at the end of that day.  Good or bad, work day or vacation day, I take a few moments and reflect on what the day entailed and my role in it.  
 
My reflections involve a lot of questions, such as what did I learn and whether I found something to laugh about?  The exercise is meant to help me make sure that I got the most out of that day and to help me continue to move forward with purpose so that I extract as much as I can from the next day as well.
 
If you ever feel that your daily demands take you away from what matters most to you in life, this is a great checkpoint.  If your reflection isn’t heavy on the amount of time you spent on things that you enjoy and that help you achieve fulfillment, you have a chance to think about why and then set out to get a little closer to those things tomorrow.
 
Assets and Liabilities List
About once every three months, I draw up a list of assets and liabilities.  If you are not in the practice of doing this, I highly recommend that you start.
 
Financial health is a vital component of your overall peace of mind and a big part of your financial health is derived from how engaged you are in the management of your personal finances.  If you have a solid understanding of what you have accumulated (your assets) and what you owe (your liabilities), you have taken the most important step toward making informed decisions about your finances.
 
Financial health is not exclusively a derivative of wealth.  It is, more importantly, a derivative of your own understanding of what you have, what you owe, and what you are going to do increase what you have and decrease what you owe.
 
Discussion Points
This is the only list on my list that does not include the word list in the title, but it is nevertheless a list.  I use this list when I am going to make a speech, organize a soccer practice, or even if I want to have a conversation starter in my pocket when I am about to meet someone for the first time.
 
Over time, I have found that I do not need to write down every word of a speech before I make it to deliver it effectively.  I just need to make sure that I have some organization to my thoughts and that I don’t forget the key topics, and this is where the use of discussion points is helpful.  Similarly, I don’t want to be on the soccer field trying to come up with the next drill on the spot while a dozen 12-year old girls are screaming at me.  I have gotten a lot of use out of jotting down a short list of drills and games before each practice, so I have a reference point as we go.
 
For meetings, it is always helpful to have an outline of the main points I hope to cover, especially if I am meeting someone or a group of people for the first time and I am not sure how it will go or what to expect.
 
So far, I’ve gone heavy on the types of lists that help me to stay organized or otherwise on track.  Let’s finish with a few that are a little more fun.
 
Top 5 Favorites List
You can insert any number here, there is nothing magic about five. It also doesn’t have to be about your favorites.  You can substitute words like Greatest instead.
 
I include this list and use the number five because I have developed this one in response to questions from my kids over the years.  As they have grown up they have asked me about my times and experiences and often want to know, what my favorite (moment, trip, dinner, etc.) has been.  I usually struggle to narrow the answer to one favorite, so I have gotten into the habit of giving them my top five.
 
A list like this is also a good way to start an impromptu conversation with co-workers and friends.  What are your top five favorite movies, books, songs, or television shows?  These questions can lead to a fun discussion and help you to get to know people a little better.
 
Desert Island/Dinner Party List
These are actually two different lists that serve roughly the same purpose.  The desert island list involves the few things that would be essential to you if you were stranded on a deserted island.  You can decide how to limit the number of items and what is not allowed.
 
The dinner party list is the six people (alive or dead) that you have not met and would invite to a dinner party if you had the chance.  I used to ask this question during interviews thinking that it would be a good way to ask a question that the interviewee had not anticipated and to gain insight into that person’s values and heroes.
 
Whether you make these lists for yourself or you are asking others what would be on their list, it can be fun to talk about these topics and you may learn something from your answers or from the answers of your friends and colleagues.
 
Christmas List
I am going to finish strong here and go with the old standby.  Feel free to insert any holiday at the front of the list.  The point is that it is your wish list for whatever occasion you want to apply it to. 
 
Just remember to also make the list of the wishes you hope to fulfill for others, the gifts and experiences that you will give and share.
 
There you go.  I hope that you enjoyed reading the lists as much as I enjoyed writing about them, but I’ve got to go.  Now that I have written this article, I must make a new list of ideas for possible future articles.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

​Seven Don’ts of Leadership
You cannot lead if you are not willing to be the first one through the door. 

​Normally, I focus on what I am doing or should be doing as a way of re-enforcing my focus on what I can control, but I have also found that being aware of what I am not doing also plays an important role in helping me to determine how I should be spending my time.
 
It is with this thought in mind that I would like to share the seven things you should absolutely never do as a leader, regardless of who you are leading or what business you are in. 
 
Don’t Allow Yourself to be Overwhelmed
 
You can never let the moment, or the situation get too big for you to handle.  The second that you do, everyone who is relying on you will also be overwhelmed.  Plus, it sends a signal to your boss that you are not ready for additional challenges or opportunities, which will likely put the kibosh on your upward mobility.
 
It is normal to have doubts, to not immediately have all the answers that are required to solve a problem or craft a solution.  Understanding the importance of a matter and that you rarely know everything you need to know at the exact moment you need to know it will help you to move forward.  Arrogance and ignorance are the two largest impediments to forward progress and long-term success so knowing what you know and admitting that there is always more for you to learn and experience will keep you grounded in reality and help you remain intellectually curious.
 
What you cannot do is allow those internal doubts to become external expressions.  Take a deep breath, give yourself a moment (or several) to collect yourself, and find a way to rise up and meet the challenge you are facing.  You have a skill set that has helped you get to the position you now hold.  Rely on those skills and give your instincts and the experience you’ve gained time to kick in and lead the way.
 
Don’t Wait
 
As a leader, if you ever find that you are about to start a sentence with the words,” I’m waiting for…”, stop.  If you wait, everyone else on your team waits too and if everyone is waiting, nothing is getting done.
 
Your daily routine should largely consist of these three steps; identifying needs, finding solutions to meet those needs, and measuring the success of those solutions.  If you are regularly doing those three things, you are going to be busy and you will not have time to wait.
 
As a leader, you will ultimately be measured on your results and you will never achieve results by waiting.  If you find yourself having taken action that is reliant on someone else responding, don’t simply wait for that response.  Find something constructive to do in the interim.
 
Don’t Dance Around
 
Be direct and forthright with everyone and in every situation.  You can do so while maintaining a proper level of tact and diplomacy, but you will never convey a message efficiently by dancing around the subject and using more words than are necessary or innuendos or indirect references that may or may not be understood.
 
Further, when you choose to dance around a subject, you will come across as being uncertain and less committed to your message.  Especially in difficult situations and with delicate subjects, do yourself and the person or people you are addressing a favor and get to the point.  There is no better way to demonstrate your respect for someone than to be respectful of their time and to treat them with the courtesy of a straight forward discussion.
 
This concept applies to meetings as well.  If you put together a meeting, have a point, state that point, and discuss whatever details support that point.  After applicable discussion, provide an efficient summary and adjourn the meeting.  No other steps are required, especially those that involve a platform for you or any other participant to talk for the sole purpose of talking.
 
Don’t Mumble
 
While you are having those discussions and conducting those meetings, speak clearly and concisely.  A lack of clarity will always lead to inefficiency, confusion, and misguided effort and if you are running a busy business or department, you simply do not have the time to waste.
 
Take the time that is necessary to deliver a message that is easily understood and simple to follow and leave as little as possible to chance.  It is okay, even advisable, to repeat or summarize key points or expected action steps if that strengthens the message and supports the intended result.
 
Over-talking also detracts from the strength of your message and constitutes a form of mumbling in this example.  If your point is made, move on without hesitation.  If you are going to tell a story, pause to make sure that it will be productive and central to your message rather than distracting and a dilution of your message.
 
Don’t Over/Under React
 
Clearly, effective communication is crucial to strong leadership.  A huge part of that effective communication is the flow of information and discussion amongst you and your team.  The best way to promote the efficient flow and discussion of pertinent information is to act and react in kind and in a manner, that is consistent with what is called for by the situation at hand.
 
If you consistently initiate or respond to the flow of information in a manner that equals what is called for by the situation or event, your people will be much more likely to willingly participate in the flow of that information.  It is okay to be emotional, if you are an emotional person and it is equally okay to be stoic, if that trait comes easier to you.  Be yourself, for sure, but take the requisite action and manage it accordingly.
 
If, on the other hand, you either fly off the handle or take no action at all regardless of the circumstance, your people will not be so inclined to include you in their problem solving and once you are out of that very important loop, you are a far less effective leader.
 
Don’t Stop Evolving
 
I’m on the fence as to whether I think people can change who they are, but I am a hundred percent certain that the second you stop evolving is the second you need to get out of the way and let someone else take the lead.
 
If you are unwilling to learn new things, to apply your experiences in new ways, to take on new challenges, how in the world could you ever expect your employees to do those things?  Take that question one step further and ask yourself what would your organization, or any organization, look like if it stopped all forward progress?
 
You cannot lead if you are not willing to be the first one through the door.  When you are willing to evolve as a person and a leader, you are open to new ideas and fresh approaches and your options and possibilities grow. 
 
Don’t Ever Miss a Performance Review
 
The best thing you can ever do for your employees is to let them know exactly where they stand.  Conversely, the worst thing you can do is to miss an opportunity to do so.  Failing to perform a performance review when one is due or even failing to complete one on time is the worst injustice you can commit as a leader.
 
As a leader, you are often only as good as your employees allow you to be.  You invest your time and energy and experience into them so that, in turn, they unlock their potential and perform at the highest possible levels.  In this way, it is a mutually beneficial relationship.  When you don’t provide your employees with timely and specific feedback both as events occur and while administering a performance review, you deprive of them of valuable information and developmental tools they will need to advance.  In most instances, if you’re employees are not advancing, then you aren’t either.
 
Providing your employees with frequent and meaningful feedback creates another big plus.  It greatly reduces the possibility of having to confront your employees for prolonged poor job performance or for there to be any confusion regarding your expectations of them.  When you address matters as they arise, and you create an environment that is conducive to productive performance reviews, the likelihood that you spend any time not on the same page with your employees is significantly limited.
 
So, those are seven don’ts and I hope you find them helpful.  Here are two to-dos’ while you’re thinking about the things not to do.  Listen and be available.  Your employees will appreciate the access and you will be instantly the wiser for placing these to-dos on the top of your leadership priority list.
 
This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

What’s Your Passion?
 
Is it just me or does it seem like you cannot go one day without hearing someone talk about how passionate they are about something?  I think passion is one of the most overused and misapplied descriptions in today’s conversation and when I hear it invoked all of my alarm bells immediately sound.
 
First, let’s establish that passion is essentially defined as an intense, driving, or overpowering feeling or conviction as well as an ardent affection or deep devotion to some activity, object, or concept. 
 
Using this as the definition of passion, the question that has to be asked is just how many things can you be passionate about?  How many subjects can legitimately create such an overwhelming urge to act on your part?  How many different pursuits are capable of stirring your internal call to action and moving you on a regular basis?
 
If you have somehow made yourself believe that you are passionate about more than a couple of things in your life, than you are overusing the term and if you find yourself declaring your passion for cleaning your house or utilizing good manners, than you are most certainly misapplying the description.
 
Now that I’ve called out those who overuse the expression of passion, how about those that are not passionate about anything or at least fail to demonstrate it at times that it should be evident?  You may know the personality type or have recently witnessed an example.  This would be the person who will “cold fish” you on a handshake or the ballplayer who jogs to first base on a ground ball in play.
 
Like so many things in life, a little balance goes a long way.  If you walk around telling everyone how passionate you are about things, you are probably not going to garner much credibility.  On the other hand, if your actions are such that whatever passion you may possess is nowhere to be found, the people around you will not rush to join your team.
 
The key is to discover the few things that you have passion for and then pursue those things with everything you’ve got.  If you have yet to identify those things, don’t worry.  You can discover just as much joy in your pursuit of that discovery.  Along those lines, let’s identify what needs to be present for a real passion to develop besides the descriptive words in the definition above.
 
Passion is not judgmental or temperamental.  If you think of passion as your feelings for your spouse or significant other, your passion for that person must encompass everything about that person, especially if you are going to make a lasting commitment.
 
I look at it like this.  If you are truly passionate about someone, you love that person in spite of who they are.  True and lasting love is not based on what someone does for you or how they make you feel.  Those are moving targets and they are subject to change on a regular basis.  Real passion exists when you know someone well enough to accept them for everything they are, flaws and all.  When you understand and accept the worst of someone and you love them anyway, you have the truest form of true love!
 
Passion does not take a day off.  If you are truly passionate about your work or your career, you are willing to accept the bad days with the good days.  You may even produce more or do better work when times are tough because your job means that much to you.
 
Passion does not have a deadline and is not subject to the clock.  If you are working on something that is a matter of personal importance, your thoughts and actions are not dominated by what time of the day or night it happens to be.
 
Passion is a great prioritizer and motivator.  I have daily tasks that I need to complete and I am sure you do as well.  Some of those tasks are pretty mundane.  As wonderful as it would be to be involved in a pursuit of passion all day, it is not realistic.  If passion exists in your heart, however, it will also influence your mind and guide you back to the source of that passion.  When this occurs, you will inevitably work your way toward that source of passion.  You may complete those mundane tasks a little faster to do so.
 
Passion creates purpose and meaning.  When you discover something to be passionate about it can help you decide not only how you should be spending your time, but it can influence the direction you head toward and the goals that you set along the way.
 
Passion expands exponentially.  When you have it, you want more of it and you will be more likely to create opportunities for it to develop and more alert to moments that will lend itself to it.  A hug can turn into a HUG and that project that you were signed can turn into a PROJECT!
 
Passion and the pursuit of it are an absolute must.  There is no joy in a life spent without it or deliberately avoiding it.  If you have it, cherish it and do everything you can to nurture it.  If you don’t have it, find it and then hold on tight!
 
​This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?
Whether you are focused on the “do” or the “be” and no matter what age you are, if you are trying to figure it all out, you’re on the right path.

Remember when you were a kid and you were asked that question?  I do.  Today, it is just as exciting to hear someone ask one of my kids that same question.  There is just something about that question that lays the whole world at your feet and makes anything sound possible.
 
The problem seems to be that it is thought of solely as a childhood consideration.  Sure, the concept comes up again as you get a little older, but the context is not quite the same.  You may ask a recent graduate what the next step will be or a person who is entering the job market what their focus will be, but those questions never quite invoke the limitless possibilities than does the question of, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
 
I wonder why.  Is it the time element of the question?  When you are older, the “grow up” portion of the question tends to drop off so that may be it.  It may also be that when you ponder the question as a child, you think of it in its’ truest sense without putting any limitations on your thought process.  My last guess is that the word “be” is heard literally as an adult and translated as the word “do” when you are a child.  As an adult, you know that what you do is not necessarily what you are.
 
Either way, I think the question has a place in your head regardless of your age or the quantity and type of limitations you may perceive.
 
If you are reading this and you are fortunate enough to be doing what you wanted to do when you grew up, congratulations!  I congratulate you further if you are also the person that you wanted to become!
 
Please take a moment and give some thought as to how you would describe the path that you took and then go share it with people who will benefit from that knowledge.  You can be a first-hand witness to the fact that you actually went out and made it happen, it did not just happen to you.
 
If you are one of those people who are not doing what they want to do and are not the person you would like to be, please consider the possibility that you have the power to change what you do and the ability to become who you would like to be.
 
From a personal standpoint, I can tell you that I am doing what I wanted to do from a pretty young age.  My exact answer may have changed slightly from when I was really little, but I knew early on that I wanted to be in the financial business.  I also figured out that I wanted to be part of a team, that I enjoyed working with numbers, and that I appreciate the opportunity to express myself through work whether it be through presentations, writing, or generally interacting with others.  I love to strategize and we have already clearly established that I enjoy making decisions.
 
I am going into some detail here because I want to make the point that these aspects are present in many more jobs and vocations than just the one I currently have, which speaks to perhaps a greater availability of chances and a better opportunity to find the right fit than what would have been the case had I focused too narrowly on a specific industry or
job title.
 
If you feel as though you are struggling to figure out what you want to do, make a list of things that you enjoy doing without trying to categorize them or label them.  Make that list as inclusive as you can and then study it to see if any common threads develop that will help you to more clearly identify a role that may better suit you.
 
It might also be helpful to set your worries or concerns on the side for a minute.  It is nearly impossible to derive the full benefit from your thought process if your mind is cluttered with your worries about money, or status, or time.  It is also very easy to kill creativity with your real world problems.  The value of the exercise is found in allowing yourself to dream a little bit, to consider the possibilities in a way that brings you back to the clarity of your thought when you were a child and not yet influenced by the complexities of life.
 
You may consider having a conversation or a series of them with someone who you admire.  Just about everyone has an interesting story to tell and you will almost always learn something when you ask them to tell it.  Often times, you can apply some of what you learn to your own life and decision making going forward.
 
The goal is not to figure it all out right away.  The goal is simply to put yourself in a position to better understand where you are and how you might get to where you really want to be.  If you can do that, then you are on your way.  You are becoming more open to the possibilities that lie ahead and determining how you might best capitalize on those opportunities.
 
Being who you want to be is a little tougher than doing what you want to do.  While I am absolutely doing what I enjoy doing and want to be doing, being who I want to be is a continued work in progress.  I always feel that there is room for improvement and I try to make it a point to learn from my past experiences in order to continue my development as a person.
 
In the meantime, I derive comfort from the fact that I am enjoying the journey and following my own path.  Whether you are focused on the “do” or the “be” and no matter what age you are, if you are trying to figure it all out, you’re on the right path.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

​Patience (and Tolerance)
 
My dad used to joke that he could never be a doctor because he had no patients.  I deliberately misspelled patience to convey the word play because it is really difficult to tell a joke one dimensionally.
 
Okay, moving on before you lose patience with me.  
 
Patience is tricky for me. At best, I am a conditionally patient kind of guy and those conditions are often only known to me.  By this, I mean that I believe that patience isn’t simply practiced, it is also earned.  I will do my best to explain using real life examples, but I am not going to promise that you won’t lose patience with me before I do.  Here goes.
 
I have patience for student drivers and for kids who have recently obtained their license.  I have no patience at all for people who hold up traffic, driving 20 miles under the speed limit in the fast lane while texting.
 
I have patience for employees who show up every day ready to learn something new and to challenge themselves.  I have no patience at all for an employee who asks not what he can do for the company, but what the company can do for him.
 
I have patience for anyone who exerts an earnest effort, but falls short of his or her goal.  I have no patience at all for those who set no goals and demonstrate no ambition, but expect the world anyway.
 
I have patience when a contractor calls to tell me that he will be late or postponed.  I have no patience at all for the contractor who delays my project with no advanced notice or any explanation.
 
I have patience for great causes that may take some time to find their way and gain traction even if it means that I spend more time working on behalf of them.  I have no patience at all for poorly thought out, unorganized efforts that go nowhere, but waste time indiscriminately.
 
Basically, I find that I have all kinds of time for people and causes that are genuine and not so much for those that aren’t.
 
I look at it like this. My time has always been precious to me and I am judicious with it accordingly.  For the most part, I have become adept at assessing a person or a cause and then determining with accuracy whether I should be patient and invest some of my time and energy.  I think that skill has helped me to derive more enjoyment from my time than I otherwise would have if I simply offered my patience unconditionally.  I also think that practicing this skill has made me a better decision maker.
 
In the spirit of full disclosure, however, I can tell you that I am not always patient with myself and I absolutely react too impatiently to certain situations.
 
I am a horrible handyman, but I still approach every household project as though it will only take a few minutes and when that turns out not to be true, I immediately get frustrated.  Along those same lines, despite having a very limited toolbox, I still somehow expect to always have just the right tool for the job only for my unfounded optimism to turn to instantaneous ire.
 
I love animals and I full well know that pets are a lot of work yet when our dog is in our backyard for two minutes and somehow comes back to the door filthy, it often is a true test of my patience.
 
So, I guess what I am saying is that even though the concept of patience is obviously something I have given a lot of thought to and have gone as far as to categorize it, even I can’t fully explain how I apply it.  I think this is because somewhere along the way my patience or lack thereof intertwines with my tolerance.  This then leads to the question of whether a person can be patient, but intolerant or impatient and tolerant at the same time.  I think the answer is yes, which really starts to create some confusion!
 
Clearly, patience can and often does go hand in hand with tolerance, however, the opposite is far more interesting to think about.  Using my previous example, I am apparently patient with our dog, but intolerant of the mess she creates.  Similarly, I consider myself to not only be tolerant of, but interested in the many varied opinions of the people I interact with on a daily basis, but if one of those persons takes too long to state that opinion I may grow impatient with him.
 
In these instances, I need to be careful not to convey the wrong message.  I want our dog to know I love her and that she is not in trouble just because she goes out and does what dogs do.  I also need my long-winded acquaintance to know that his opinion is just fine with me even though he may not be as concise as I would like him to be when sharing it.
 
If I think of myself as patient and tolerant, but my pets and friends don’t receive that message, then the virtue of my patience and tolerance is completely lost because when it comes to matters such as these, the only reality is the perception of those that you care about.  The challenge isn’t to make myself more patient or tolerant.  The challenge is to make sure that I convey whatever level of patience and tolerance I feel in a clear and appropriate way even when I am the only party involved.
 
I am going to continue to work on my own patience and tolerance and hopefully improve upon it, especially the way in which I convey it to others.  I value self-awareness in others and I need to make sure that I practice it myself.  In my opinion, anyone who comports himself in a manner that indicates he knows who he is, how he portrays himself, and is respectful of others along the way is very likely worth my patience and tolerance.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker

The Value of Collaboration
Leaders lead by example, by bringing people together and helping them to see the value in an objective and then encouraging them to do everything they can to justify their spot on the team and to make their teammates proud

How do you define collaboration and where does it fit in your decision making process?  Many of us tend to either overestimate what collaboration entails and may signify or underestimate its value and the benefits we can gain from collaborating with others.
 
Let’s start with what collaboration involves and the many ways it may be applicable to a decision you are considering or a project, on which you are working.  In its simplest form, collaboration is merely the interaction and communication between people, initiated with the purpose of achieving a desired result.  Typically, the desired result is a well-rounded and thoroughly thought out decision.
 
Defined in that way, it would seem perfectly logical and reasonable for you to seek out collaboration whenever and wherever necessary.  Often times, however, you may find several reasons for not involving others.  The reasons range from the belief that you may be imposing on someone by asking them to get involved in your matter to the worry that you may appear weak if you have to ask for someone else’s help.
 
How do you typically react when you are asked to give your opinion? I tend to take it as a compliment when someone asks me for an opinion or advice. For many of you, it is within your nature to want to be helpful.  We are built to interact with others and to enjoy social lives.  An important aspect of social behavior is discussion with others and the mutual sharing of ideas and views.
 
If you are the one who is asked for your opinion, you will almost always learn something from the collaboration as well, whether it is a new vantage point or a different perspective.  Not only is it not an imposition when you ask others about what they think, it is usually a mutually rewarding experience.
 
For those of you who may worry that you would appear to be weak if you asked someone else for help, you could not be more mistaken.  The best decision makers are the ones who realize that it is imperative to gain as much of an understanding of a matter or situation as is possible and applicable before they ultimately decide and act.
 
No matter how experienced you may be in your chosen field, you will never know all that there is to know.  You will never have every experience there is to experience.  While your colleague won’t either, including him or her in your decision-making process will add to your knowledge and increase your chances of making a more thorough choice.  You will be much more likely to gain additional information and to learn something that you, otherwise, would not have thought about.
 
Asking for an opinion or view should never be confused with absolving yourself of the responsibility of making the decision.  The best leaders know that they will go further toward the achievement of their goals, and those of their organization, by being inclusive rather than exclusive in their decision-making.  Including additional thoughts and ideas is a big part of responsible decision-making and it does not, in any way, dilute the accountability of the person with the ultimate authority to make the decision.
 
For another perspective on the importance and value of collaboration, consider the difference in your level of engagement on a project that you helped define and for which you had input versus a project that was assigned to you without regard to your schedule or degree of interest.  You will always be more vested in the successful outcome of the project that you are involved in from the beginning than in the one for which you had no say.  If you realize the benefits of being asked to collaborate, why wouldn’t those around you realize those same benefits when you ask them to collaborate with you?
 
Interacting with others will also save you time and energy.  If you were never able to rely on the assistance and experiences of others, you would clearly have a lot less free time and probably be worn out from constantly having to think of everything and to do everything that was necessary to get you through your day.  Think about what it would be like if you had to write a procedure for everything that you did at work every day instead of being able to rely on time tested and established practices that were employed and perfected before you ever had to think about them.
 
Working with others is also much more rewarding than working on your own.  When you are part of a team and you attain your goal, you still enjoy the individual feeling of victory and accomplishment, but you also get to experience the satisfaction and joy that can only be reached when you have stood side-by-side with others and achieved your desired result through a mutual commitment to a worthy cause or objective.
 
Demonstrating that you work well with others will also help you to advance in your career.  You will send notice to your manager or boss that you are confident in your abilities, but open to other views and ideas.
 
Leaders do not lead by reminding people of their title and making them do what they want them to do.  Leaders lead by example, by bringing people together and helping them to see the value in an objective and then encouraging them to do everything they can to justify their spot on the team and to make their teammates proud.  If you are able to do that, you will demonstrate that you are capable of leading as well.
 
Lastly, collaborating can also provide you with some insurance.  Sometimes, decisions don’t lead to the results that you expect despite your best efforts.  In these cases, it never hurts to have had additional people weigh in and reach a consensus with you.  This does not mean that you have someone else to blame or that you should attempt to shift responsibility.  It does mean, however, that a decision and a course of action have more merit if you did everything that you could to be thorough and inclusive in your actions regardless of what ultimately occurs.
 
The only downside to collaborating isn’t really a downside at all.  We’ve established that you will not appear as though you are weak-minded, nor will you be imposing, should you seek to collaborate.  The only other worry would be that you will receive less of the recognition or credit than you otherwise would have if you would have chosen to go it alone.  Remember that anyone who will pass judgment on the quality of your decisions and work has likely been in your shoes before and they realized long ago that they could not get to where they were going without seeking out reliable and talented people to associate with and to count on as part of their development.
 
Ask questions and seek opinions from those who you believe in and can learn from and you will soon be wiser, more enlightened, and further down the road than you otherwise would have been.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

​Pay Attention!
If you listen, while others are talking, you will almost always learn something

​When our kids were old enough to prioritize and young enough for my wife and I to exercise our influence over them, we simplified our parenting instructions down to one absolute order.
 
Listen to mom and dad.
 
For years, that is all we ever really asked of them.  We figured that the best thing we could do for them was to set an example, through our actions and words, that incorporated as many tools that they were capable of understanding and using at an early age. Our objective was to provide them with enough structure and direction to begin to develop their own decision-making skills at an early age so that they would be prepared to make good decisions as they got older.
 
As much as I now wish that we would have added a work schedule so that they were also doing chores before they were old enough to find excuses not to do them, teaching them to listen, observe, and pay attention when we did proved to have been worthwhile for us and for them.
 
In fact, if (like me) you subscribe to the theory that there is always a price to pay; you might also agree that paying attention is one of the most inexpensive, but valuable investments you can make.
 
If you listen, while others are talking, you will almost always learn something without unnecessarily giving away your own thoughts.
 
If you watch, while others are acting, you will see an example of how to or how not to act in that situation.
 
If you remain alert to your surroundings, you are far less likely to experience an unwanted surprise.
 
Conversely, if you do not pay attention, the price you pay could be substantial.
 
If you drive while not paying attention, you may end up in an accident.
 
If your teacher springs a pop quiz on you and you weren’t listening in class, you’re probably not going to get a very good grade on that quiz.
 
The price that you pay for the decisions you make, the experiences you enjoy or suffer through, and the results that you either achieve or fall short of can be remitted in a variety of ways.
 
Sometimes that price is real money that you either gain or lose.  Other times, you might pay that price in the form of physical exertion or the use of millions of brain cells. Either way, every step you take and every lesson you learn costs you something and there is no guarantee that the price you pay equals whatever it is that you receive when you pay that price.
 
What is guaranteed, however, is that the price that you pay will be more in line with your expectations when you are making decisions based on what you have learned and experienced along your path in life.  If you set a goal and then prepare to achieve that goal through a thorough understanding of what it will take to reach your desired result, you will get about as close as possible to ensuring that the price you pay is worth the reward you seek.
 
If you learn those skills through paying attention and being alert to your surroundings and situations, then I think we can agree that a small investment of your time and attention will pay substantial dividends to you for the rest of your life.  The earlier you make this investment, the more dividends you will earn.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Bags Don't Travel Free

Despite what you may have heard, travelling with bags will always cost you and it is difficult, if not impossible, to travel without them.  It seems to me then, that if you are interested in holding your costs down, the answer is to carry smaller bags.
 
You are, no doubt, familiar with the term, “we all have baggage.” The term is a metaphor for the negative experiences we accumulate and carry with us during our lifetime.  Generally speaking, the longer you live, the more baggage you are expected to carry.
 
If you are living your life, in the sense that you are personally invested in its direction, purpose, and value to yourself and others, then you are going to experience some adversity.  You will deal with tough situations and undesirable, sometimes, undeserved results. It would be impossible to expect that you could effectively deal with these matters and come through completely unscathed.
 
Invariably, life is going to take its toll on you.  Your job isn’t to avoid adversity and negative experiences.  Your job is to limit the cost of that adversity. To do so, you are going to have to keep those bags that you carry to an absolute minimum.
 
There are negatives all around you and ignoring them isn’t very healthy.  Recognizing them and then immediately putting them in their place is not only healthy, it is liberating and the least costly of your options if you are going to carry those bags and the smaller the better.  
 
As an example, I enjoy travelling, but I do not enjoy being laden with luggage.  When I travel, whether by air or just around the city between meetings, I prefer to travel as lightly as possible.  I only bring what is necessary and I try to save my energy for the place I am about to visit or the meeting I am going to attend.
 
I try to live the same way in which I travel in the sense that I do my best not to carry a bunch of stuff around with me and stuff can be defined in a variety of ways.
 
Stuff can be the emotional and mental toll that adversity and negative situations can take on you when you do not find a way to effectively deal with those matters and put them in their place, preferably a small bag somewhere.
 
Stuff can be the material things that you have acquired, used, and are no longer in need of as you reach different stages of your life.  Keepsakes are great, but there probably isn’t a reason to hold on to the picture frame that is out of style or the fondue set that you used once and haven’t looked at in twenty years.
 
The baggage that you carry is not limited to the belongings that you bring with you from place to place. It also applies to the mental baggage that you carry with you when you allow feelings like resentment and frustration to pile up and accumulate space in your mind.  If you try to deal with a problem or think through a situation while still carrying a pile of mental baggage from a series of unrelated events or circumstances, then the weight of that baggage will prevent you from effectively coping with the matter you are currently trying to address.
 
Whether we are talking about baggage of the physical or meta-physical kind, it does not just come along for the ride without extracting a fee from the carrier.
 
So, what are some things that you can do to carry the least amount of baggage possible?
 
First and foremost, make it a point to deal with matters as they arise.  Running from problems or pretending they do not exist is not an effective strategy.  Give yourself the time and space to analyze and understand the problem or the situation.
 
Once you have taken an honest look at the situation, put it into the proper context.  Often times, problems may appear bigger than they are. As human beings with the power of imagination, we are all capable of blowing things out of proportion.  Things are rarely as bad as they may seem.  You simply cannot allow yourself to lose perspective.  Just like the trophies on your mantle, problems need to be kept in their proper place. The difference is that you want to create as much space as possible for your positive moments and work to minimize the space needed for your negative ones.
 
Now that you have given yourself an opportunity to see things for what they are, take a moment to determine what your course of action will be.  In my experience, there is no better tonic for a problem than coming up with a plan to deal with it.  Your plan and the number of steps you will need to take will greatly depend on the nature of the situation, but it is important to keep two things in mind. Keep it simple and define what you need to do by drawing the shortest and straightest line from where you are to your desired result.  If you think of your plan as a map, you will be well on your way to understanding this concept.
 
It is time to execute your plan.  Follow the steps that you have identified, create a few checkpoints along the way so you stay on track, and put that problem in its place.
 
Lastly, once you have successfully dealt with that adversity, take a few moments and determine what you have learned and gained from the experience.  When you realize that you faced a problem and defeated it, you will soon also realize that you have also minimized that baggage that you will inevitably carry around with you.
 
Take These Five Steps and Travel Lighter

1.  Turn toward the problem
2.  See it for what it really is
3.  Develop a plan
4.  Execute the plan
5.  Learn from your experience

 
This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Isabella's Artwork

​Where has the time gone?
 
I was sitting on the bench in the front hallway of our house before I took our dog for a walk one night last week.  There were several boxes of donations in the hallway ready to be set out on our porch for a pick up the next day.
 
The boxes in our hallway are a relatively common occurrence, particularly in the spring.  What caught my attention, however, was the pink, hand painted sign that was sitting on top of one of the boxes.   The sign was designed to hang on the wall and it was adorned with clips like you would see on a clothes line, except these clips were also hand painted and their purpose was to hold artwork.
 
I had seen that sign hanging in my daughter’s room for probably the last ten years and now it was boxed up and ready to be shipped out, never to be seen again.
 
My wife and I have always agreed that one of the great joys of parenting is the pride we take in the work and achievements of our children.  That pride is uniquely ours because no one will ever assign the level of importance or meaning to what our kids are doing that we alone can perceive and appreciate.
 
In my mind, my daughter’s artwork is priceless, and of the highest quality, even surpassing the works that you could find in any boutique or high end art gallery.
 
When I noticed that sign in a box of donations, I couldn’t think of anything else.  I sat on that bench for a good, long time and thought about all the artwork I had seen displayed from that sign.  I thought about all the enjoyment I had experienced as she explained what she had done to create each piece.
 
I thought about the years that had passed and the progression I had witnessed in her work and then I thought about the polar opposite feelings that come from the passage of time.  On the one hand, the passage of time invariably leads to progress, growth, and the creation of additional, positive experiences.  On the other hand, that same passage cannot ever be regained.  Once that time is spent, it is gone, just like the sign was about to be.
 
As poignant and sad as this moment of realization was for me as I sat there staring at the sign, I sure was glad that I had taken the time to enjoy all of that artwork over the years and that I did so when it was most meaningful to my daughter.
 
I am thankful for those memories especially now that she has grown up so much.  Although she is still very interested in art, her interests have changed.  As is the case with all kids, as they grow up, their time and how they spend it also changes.  Almost inevitably, that means less time for dad.
 
As much as I am going to miss that sign and the time in our lives that it came to symbolize, I also know there isn’t much I can do about it.  What I can do about it, I have already done.  I enjoyed those moments, that time and that artwork, as completely as possible.  I fully appreciated it for what it was when it was happening and that may be all any of us can ever do when it comes to the passage of time.
 
Appreciating life’s moments, stopping to admire some art, enjoying time well spent with your kids will not slow time down.  It won’t stop your kids from getting older and it sure won’t stop you from aging, but it does go a long way toward ensuring that you get the most out of the time that you have.
 
Appreciating those moments and living them as they occur, also helps you to build a strong foundation for future moments.  Learning to get the most out of your life is just like any other learned behavior.  The more you practice, the better at it you will become.
 
In my own example, I have gotten so much out of those times with my daughter that I cannot wait for the next moment that presents itself, especially now that those moments are fewer and farther between.  I will not miss that next opportunity to go to the movies, or review a writing assignment, or to coach her next soccer game because of my awareness of and appreciation for all of the previous moments and opportunities that have already come and gone.
 
Over the years, I have spent a considerable amount of brainpower trying to figure out how to slow the passage of time with very little to show for it.  Even after all of this thought, I have only come up with three tricks to sort of fool myself into believing I have made some progress in this quest.
 
I never wish time away.
 
I am never bored.
 
And, as illustrated above, I make it a point to get the most out of every moment.  Time is going to march forward no matter what.  I just try to make sure that, as it does, I am not allowing its force to sweep me away with nothing to show for it.
 
Even still, I sure am going to miss that sign.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.