Sacrifice the Sacrifice
Put yourself in the best possible position to succeed by making decisions that are consistent with who you are and what you want to accomplish

​Take care of yourself.  No one else will do it as well as you can.
 
Put yourself first.
 
Look out for number one and try not to step in number two!
 
You have probably heard one or all these sayings before.  If you have, it is possible that you misunderstood the value in the message and wrote it off as something intended for a person who is selfish or disinterested in the world around them.  I’d like to suggest an alternative way of thinking that may help you better evaluate this advice the next time you consider it.
 
When we conduct financial training with members and prospective members of the credit union, one of the concepts we share is to pay yourself first.  We offer this advice to assist someone who is interested in establishing or maintaining habits that form the foundation for sound personal financial management.  If you make savings a habit by ensuring you save first and pay expenses second, you will help yourself to a stronger financial situation.  Saving before you spend helps you to ensure that you live within your means and may even set the table for a time when you do not have to borrow or carry credit card debt.
 
You will always be stronger financially if you pay yourself first.  If you are stronger financially, you will preserve more options for yourself and be in a much better position to spend or even splurge when the need or want arises.
 
Concentrating on yourself in the broader sense is no different.  Those who have already ascertained the value of this concept and are applying it in their lives understand that the best way for them to achieve their goals and contribute value to the world is to be the best person they can be first.
 
Police Officers are known for, and deservedly so, making sacrifices in the line of duty.  To be the best Police Officer he or she can be, a person must first decide that the work of being a Police Officer is their calling.  In other words, the sacrifices they ultimately make are made possible through the decision that being a Police Officer is the vocation that best represents who they are and what will put them in the best possible situation to enjoy success and happiness in life.  The process of becoming a Police Officer is not a sacrifice.  Every Police Officer knows that the inevitable sacrifices take place later and are part of the job.
 
Parents make sacrifices every day, especially those that are active participants in parenting.  Becoming a parent is a wonderful, life changing experience and everything, but a sacrifice.  Plenty of sacrifices will take place from that day forward, but the decision to become a parent is by no means a sacrifice.
 
This is an important delineation. If you believe that the decision you make to pursue a career or become a parent is, itself, a sacrifice, you are making that decision for the wrong reason.  Sacrifice is not a motivation and basing your decision to do anything on a belief that you are making a sacrifice is not sustainable.
 
If you begin a conversation by guessing what the other person wants to hear, you are sacrificing your insight and the value of your true thoughts.
 
If you take action without a core belief that it is the right action to act, you will undoubtedly act without conviction.
 
Anything worth pursuing takes your whole heart and mind, and a skill set that helps you to rise to the challenge of the pursuit.  Starting with the idea of sacrifice will only drag you down, however, sacrifice that occurs as the result of your whole-hearted, all-in pursuit is just part of the deal.  
 
The bottom line is that you will put yourself in the best possible position to succeed in life if you make decisions that are consistent with who you are and what you really want to accomplish.  When you do this, you will be at your strongest and you will be most capable of effectively handling whatever challenges you face.  The strongest and most valuable representation of you is the one who will be able to best face up to and minimize the sacrifices that are inevitably part of any worthwhile pursuit.
 
This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Freedom of Familiarity?
We may have to be resolved to our physical confinement and restrictions for the foreseeable future, but that does not mean that our mental and emotional beings need to be confined by those same restraints

As I may have mentioned on a few occasions, sometimes an idea for an article pops into my head and the words immediately pour out.  Other times, I get the idea and all the words roll around in my head for a while before they eventually assemble in a cohesive way.  What you are about to read falls into the latter category.  As you read it, you will likely understand why this composition crystalized at this time.
 
Every one of us has a comfort zone, a place where we find peace, safety, love, and happiness.  Your comfort zone may be your home or anywhere you happen to be in the same place as your spouse or your best friend.   Your comfort zone may be your favorite vacation spot or your local coffee house.  Wherever you are most likely to feel your best, strongest, most confident self on full display, that is your comfort zone.
 
Your comfort zone is likely different than mine, but there are almost certainly common threads amongst our definitions.  I mentioned a few of them already; peace, love, happiness, strength, confidence.  How about familiarity?  When you have familiarity with someone or something, you are free to be yourself and when you are true to yourself, you are the best version of yourself.
 
When you exist in this zone, you can accomplish great things.  The confidence that you feel in your comfort zone should liberate you from your inhibitions and help you to unlock your potential and challenge yourself to learn more and expand your horizons.  After all, if it does get scary as you progress forward, you can always come back to your comfort zone.
 
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work this way.  Whether it is the allure of all that comfort and peace or a desire to shelter yourself from anything that might disappoint or frustrate you, you may very well be tempted to stay in that zone as much as possible once you have found it.
 
However you view your comfort zone and whatever amount of time you spend in it, ask yourself this question: Would your feelings about it and the time you spend there change if you couldn’t leave?  If you suddenly did not have any choice, but to stay in your comfort zone, would the familiarity of it set you free or trap you?
 
My view on my comfort zone is analogous to a lap top and its docking station.  The purpose of the laptop is to create mobility and versatility for you and the tasks that you need to complete.  When the laptop has done its job for the day and its battery power begins to wane, you pop it snugly back into its docking station, where it re-charges, syncs up, and gets ready for the next day.
 
When the laptop works in concert with its docking station, it is perfectly suited for the tasks at hand.  If it never docked, it would never sync with the broader system to which it is attached, and it would ultimately run out of charge and value to you.  Conversely, if the laptop never left the docking station, there would be no point in having one because the reasons you own it would be negated by the complete lack of mobility and versatility now trapped in the docking station.
 
In my mind, if you choose to never leave your comfort zone you are negating the value of your comfort zone and resigning yourself to a life of perpetually untapped potential, limited or no opportunity for growth, and confinement in place of freedom.  The only decision you are making in this scenario is the decision to stay where you are.  I guess that because you are making that choice, you could fool yourself into thinking that you have chosen to be where you are.  But, what if that choice is taken away?
 
The power of choice and the freedom to make your own decisions are the greatest and most powerful freedoms you have.  If that power is taken from you for a short amount of time for a cause or a reason that you understand, chances are great that you would still be willing to sacrifice your decision making for the greater good.
 
What if the circumstances aren’t so clear and the time frame is even fuzzier?  How long would you be willing to make that sacrifice and what would you want in exchange for making it?
 
Adverse and difficult times have a way of bringing the best out of you.  It might be because they cause you to look at yourself and the world around you in a different way, or that they create a different focus for you.  Sometimes, the challenges you face are simplified when there is one overriding factor that looms so large, you have no choice but to stand together with those around you and face it.
 
Friends and family are typically front and center during tough times.  If you appreciated them before facing those tough times, you probably appreciate them even more so while you face those times and if you were taking them for granted, you may realize that and make it a point to let them know how much they really mean to you.
 
As we all face these difficult times together, confined to our individual comfort zones and temporarily deprived of many of our basic and most powerful freedoms, let’s make it a point not to let those same comfort zones trap us now or on the other side of this adversity.
 
We may have to be resolved to our physical confinement and restrictions for the foreseeable future, but that does not mean that our mental and emotional beings need to be confined by those same restraints.
 
I am going to make it a point to continue to find ways to expand my mind, harness my emotions, and strengthen my resolve to be a better person in the short and long term.  What are you going to do?
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​This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

The Afternoon Sun

There is just something about that afternoon sun.
 
I am drawn to the sun like the Energizer bunny is drawn to that battery of his.  I am absolutely happier when the sun is out, and I am more productive when the days (as measured by dawn to dusk) are longer.  It is easier for me to get up and get going when the sun has already risen, and I tend to think more optimistically when the sun is shining brightly.
 
All of this begs the question of why in the world I live in Chicago, but that is a topic for another day. For now, let’s just say that living in an area that experiences way more than its share of clouds and cold makes me appreciate the sun even more when I can get it, especially when I go on vacation to find it.
 
As much as I love the sun, the afternoon sun, which I define as the sun between 4:00 and 6:00 is my favorite.  Having just returned from a sunny vacation, during which I had plenty of time to think about the afternoon sun and to contemplate its wonderous effect on me, I thought I would share a few of my observations in the hopes they might resonate with you and inspire you to seek out your own sunny time.
 
While there are many qualities of afternoon sun and many ways that I have found to enjoy that time, I can summarize those qualities and source of enjoyment in three words; 
Warmth, Reflection, and Opportunity.
 
My guess is that if I posed the question of whether you prefer the heat or the cold, the answers would be pretty evenly split, but the concept of warmth unites us all.  Warmth is that center of the thermometer that everybody can agree on.  Whether you gravitate toward the heat of a summer day or you like the cold crisp air of winter, you seek warmth as your comfort zone.  I have never met anybody who prefers to be subject to blazing heat or freezing cold twenty-four hours a day!  
 
I have been fortunate to experience afternoon sun in many places and climates and when it comes time for that sun to tilt toward its final descent on the horizon for the day, the warmth it generates is my definition of perfection.  On what has been a hot day, the less pleasant elements such as humidity and the fiery mid-day burn subside and are replaced by a temperate glow.  On a cold day when it takes a little longer for the sun to reach its full potential, the afternoon sum often creates the warmest time of the day and eases the harshness of a greyer, less inviting sky.

I have also found that the afternoon sun creates the best time to reflect on the day.  I think this is so because enough of the day has transpired for me to have a good idea of what has been or will be accomplished, but there is still enough time to influence that direction one way or the other before the day ends completely.  In fact, although I am inside right now, I am enjoying a view of some afternoon sun as I write this article and reflect on these observations and where they are headed.
 
A feeling of warmth and a moment of reflection always lead me to contemplate my next opportunity.  I always say that you can’t possibly know where you are going without first understanding where you are and where you have been.  The afternoon sun amplifies my appreciation for the day and what I have experienced and, at the same time, whets my appetite for the opportunity presented by the remainder of the day.  Sometimes, the opportunity is a nice dinner or a card game with my family.  On other occasions, it might be an event that I have looked forward to for a long time.  The opportunity may be as simple as a chance to write a few thoughts down. However small or insignificant the opportunity may be, there is still an opportunity to consider during that afternoon sun.
 
I find warmth, reflection, and opportunity in my afternoon sun and I have defined that as my favorite time in a lifelong appreciation and pursuit of the sun.  My ability to understand and savor these moments brings me joy and a feeling that I have gotten the most out of a day.  Whether or not the afternoon sun means the same thing to you is irrelevant as long as you seek and appreciate your equivalent on a regular basis.
 
Does the warmth that I describe in my afternoon sun define a feeling of comfort and respite for you?  Your warmth may just be your peace of mind or the perfect balance of your emotions.
 
Do you make it a point to reflect each day?  Do you take time to soak up and celebrate something that has gone well?  Do you give thought to things that didn’t go according to plan and figure out how you will do things differently the next time?
 
Do you see opportunity around the corner?  Do you spend a few minutes figuring out where you are at in the day and then set a course for capitalizing on that moment before that day ends?
 
Any day in which you experience warmth, reflection, and opportunity is a great day!  If you have found that time or place to regularly enjoy these things, hold on to it and appreciate it fully.  If you have not, seek it out and don’t stop until you’ve identified it.
 
One last thing about the significance of that afternoon sun and I think about it every time I have the pleasure of enjoying that time with a clear and unobstructed view of the sky. Eventually, that same sun is going to set on the horizon in front of me and rise on the horizon behind me again tomorrow.  My job is to get the most out of the day in between!
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​This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

The Opposite is Also True
Equally important to making good decisions on a consistent basis is your ability to relate to others. 
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It is a well-established fact that if you flip a coin 100 times, the coin will land heads up around 50 times.
 
If rain is a possibility in a weather forecast, the prediction will usually be based on a percentage chance of that rain, such as “there is a 40% chance of rain tomorrow.”
 
A law of physics is that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
 
Why am I telling you these things?  Because, the opposite is also true.
 
If a coin lands heads up 50 times out of a hundred, it will also land tails up 50 times.
 
If there is a 40% chance of rain, it also means that there is a 60% chance it won’t rain.
 
When you take action, you should expect that there is going to be a direct and proportionately related consequence for the action that you have taken.
 
While these are objective, mathematical and scientific truths, I am more interested in their relationship between your focus and the one that represents the opposite side of the consideration at hand.  For example, you may focus on the fact that there is a 40% chance of rain and I may be more apt to concentrate on the 60% likelihood that it won’t rain. Either way, we’re both justified in our view and our focus is valid.
 
The relationship between your focus and mine is also important from a subjective standpoint.
 
When you have a belief, or you have developed an opinion on a particular subject, how much of your belief or opinion is solely focused on your point of view?  Might your opinion be altered if you considered the alternate point of view?  In my opinion, the answer to that question is a resounding yes!
 
If your aim is to be a consistently good decision-maker, your ability to gather and understand all pertinent information prior to making decisions is going to be at the center of your ability, and to make a habit of doing so will help you maintain the consistency that you will need to do to make good decisions on a regular basis.
 
Equally important to making good decisions on a consistent basis is your ability to relate to others.  If your decisions are going to be impactful and understood, you will need to demonstrate that you can relate to those around you by taking note of their views and opinions even if they contrast with yours, because the opposite view is just as true to them as your views are to you.
 
Setting out to always agree with others will set you up to fail miserably.  If your goal is to be understood and to understand what others think and why, you will be much more likely to achieve that objective.
 
Understanding alternate points of view and unique takes on a situation will help you to make better decisions for yourself and put you in a better position to relate to and potentially be in position to have a positive influence on those around you, especially those you care about.
 
If you first take the time to understand someone else and their viewpoint, you will have an easier time expressing your view and where it diverges.  Furthermore, you will have a strategic advantage if you are engaged in a debate and the party on the other side of the debate hasn’t taken any time to understand you and your opinions.
 
Think about it.  If you understand your opponents view and your own, and your opponent only understands their own opinion, who will be more likely to win that debate?
 
For the last several years, much has been said about how polarized our society has become.  For what it is worth, I think one of the main reasons for this is that many people just don’t take the time to understand alternative thoughts or ideas.  Some don’t even take the time to thoroughly think through their own thoughts or ideas, but those who do are often so focused on being right that they ignore the fact that the opposite is also true.
 
There are definitely things that can be clearly categorized as right or wrong with no gray area, although those things don’t tend to be at issue.  Many more topics, and many of them that are debated on a regular basis, are not nearly as clear cut.  For those topics, there are often merits to be found in each opposing view.  Those merits are often missed or ignored, however, and the result is a false prioritization for either side to win the argument, not for there to be a workable solution.
 
When you don’t at least consider other views, you lose the opportunity to establish common ground and, when that occurs, extremism takes over.  I think this is exactly what we are experiencing in our society today.  To me, it feels like our future is a lot less about moving forward together and a lot more about which extreme viewpoint will win out without any room for those who think otherwise.
 
Whatever our collective future holds and however the national issues are debated and ultimately decided, you can put yourself in the best possible position to make good decisions by at least attempting to understand other points of view and alternative focal points.
 
This is another example of concentrating on what you can do and can control and the good that can come out of that type of mindset.  By the way, the opposite is also true.
 
This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

One Size Does Not Fit All
Setting your own course of action based on making informed decisions

As an employee of a federally chartered financial institution, I am painfully aware of the “one size fits all” approach to rules and regulations. 
 
Every one of us has experienced this approach at various times in our lives.  Whether it has been as a student, a client, a patient, a family member, or as an employee, each of us has encountered a situation in which we were treated a certain way or judged by a certain set of criteria simply because the school, firm, doctor, relative, or boss used one set of rules for everyone.  In many cases, this approach is used solely because “that is the way it has always been done.”
 
While I understand that the one size fits all approach is often the easiest approach and it is typically administered under the umbrella of fairness; there can be some negative effects as well.
 
As it pertains to personal finance, for example, individuals who are not able to follow the rules of thumb of saving, borrowing, and spending can be demoralized and discouraged because their personal situations are outside what is considered “normal."
 
You have probably heard that you should save between 10 and 33 percent of your salary.  For some of us, this just may not be possible.  Life changing events, such as becoming a parent or furthering your education, have a way of changing your best-laid plans.  It is also hard to save when you are out of work or your hours have been cut back.  The better message is that you should save what you can when you can and to incorporate the importance of saving money into your financial planning, whether it is for your retirement, future events, or simply for a rainy day.
 
In order to be in the best position you can be to set your personal savings goal, you will need to do an assessment of your own finances and to fully understand your income and expenses.  You will then be able to set a realistic savings goal that will be easier to achieve and more meaningful to you because it is tailored to your personal situation.
 
There are also “one size” type rules for borrowing.  Many, such as limiting your debt to a percentage of your income, have merit, but may not apply to you at the moment that you need to make a critical decision.
 
There are legitimate reasons, in some instances, for you to borrow more heavily than what would otherwise be generally recommended.  Buying your first house might be an example of a time when you would stretch beyond what is comfortable in order to realize your goal of owning your own home.  It may be the absolute right thing to do for you and your family to increase your debt beyond recommended thresholds if you do so knowingly and with a longer term plan in place to limit whatever disruption or discomfort the effect of additional debt may have on you.
 
You should be able to make this decision without feeling stress for being outside the one size fits all parameters.  When you make any decision, it is important to understand all aspects of it, especially any applicable guidelines and the known pros and cons.  No one, however, should feel unnecessarily bound by a rule of thumb just because that is the accepted mainstream answer.
 
Debt, once incurred, has to be paid back.  If you can get comfortable with that responsibility and you can develop a plan that works for you, you should feel comfortable going forward with that debt.  Just don’t forget that situations change over time and it is always a good idea to have a back-up plan.
 
Spending habits and related decisions are also subject to all kinds of one size fits all approaches, such as “always pay off your credit card balances” and “don’t spend what you don’t have.” Sometimes, however, life takes over and you need to make a decision that will take you outside these rules.  When making a purchase or deciding between options, you owe it to yourself to properly weigh all of the alternatives and make the decision that is right for you.
 
As is the case with any plan, you feel better about it when it is your own.  Your planning needs to be built on a foundation of self-discipline and a healthy balance of responsibility and awareness, but if you have brought these elements into your decision-making, you are going to be more likely to reach a result that is better for you and more suited to you then you would have, had you simply followed the one size fits all approach.
 
There are few things more gratifying in life then the ability to make your own informed decisions and then setting your own course of action based on those decisions.  Allowing yourself to be constrained by generalities and rules of thumb can actually hinder your planning and prevent you from reaching meaningful goals.  Instead, it is important to take the time to understand what you want to achieve and then to develop a plan of action that best reflects your personal situation.
 
When you do these things, you may be surprised to find that you have taken the mystery and intimidation, often associated with making financial decisions, completely out of the equation.  Success through this process will inevitably lead to success in your other decision-making involving other aspects of your life and career.

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Great Expectations
We cannot choose all of our circumstances, but we can choose how we deal with our circumstances

What do you expect of yourself?  What do you expect from life?  What do you expect to accomplish?  Do you ask yourself these questions and if you don’t, why don’t you?

Whether you have taken the time to ask yourself these questions and develop answers directly relates to the quality of life you will lead and whether or not you will attain your goals and live a purposeful life. 

It never ceases to amaze me how many people meander through life without any direction or without ever giving any thought to why they are here or where they are going.  In fact, it would be hard to imagine a greater tragedy than a life unfulfilled simply because the person living it did not take the time to ask a few questions, commit to some thought, and expect something from themselves.

Whether we apply them to our own direction or not, expectations exist everywhere everyday.  Your boss expects you to show up for work.  Your spouse expects you to be home for dinner.  The cashier expects you to pay for the groceries you buy.  Expectations actually form the basis for our daily lives.  Without any expectations, we would all be struggling against random chaos in an order less world.

With expectation, however, comes responsibility and with responsibility comes the possibility of failure.  Perhaps that is why more people don’t take the time to develop their own expectations.  For some, it might be easier to live a life devoid of challenge and responsibility than it would be to live a life in which you risk failing.

I think that the only real failure you can experience is that of not trying.  Failure of any other kind can actually be a motivator and a learning experience. 

Those who have taken the time to set an expectation, accept a challenge, and get into the arena know that the disappointment of not achieving an expected outcome is often times more than offset by the thrill of the pursuit.  Participating in the game is always more exciting and fulfilling than sitting on the sideline.

If you don’t expect anything from yourself, you not only ever have a chance of winning or achieving; you don’t even get to get into the game.  Some could argue that an expectation less life is safer, but no one can argue that it is more fun.

You are probably aware of the importance of setting personal goals for yourself, but setting goals without first forming valid expectations can lead to discouragement and frustration.  Much like your basement forms the foundation for your house, expectations are the foundation on which your goals are built upon.

Convincing yourself of the importance of setting expectations for your life will open many doors for you especially if you understand that without committing to doing it, you will not ever get to where you are going.  If you are not happy where you are and you aren’t clear on where you are headed, it is because you have not developed any expectations.  This is the difference between living a life that relies solely on luck that may never materialize and living your life, the one that you and only you were destined to live.

Creating expectations of yourself will help you to grow exponentially.  If you do not know what you expect from yourself, it is impossible to know what you expect from others.  If you do not know what to expect from others, you will likely be unable to ever enjoy a fulfilling relationship with anyone.  You will not be able to determine the qualities of a good friend if you don’t even know what you are looking for from a friend.  It is also nearly impossible to enjoy a happy marriage if you don’t even know why you are getting married in the first place.

Conversely, the process of expecting things of yourself will lead to expectations of others.  While it is true that you cannot experience disappointment or hurt if you never knew what to expect anyway, it is equally true that you will also never experience true love or unbridled joy and once you have experienced these things, you will immediately know that the risk is totally worth it.

Expectations are yours and yours alone.  They are personal to you and can be adjusted by you at any time.  It isn’t even that important that you set them properly, at least not at first.  Over time, primarily through trial and error, you will become very skilled at developing them and the process will get easier.  You just have to take the time to understand yourself and your surroundings, and then to figure out what all of it means to you and what you are going to do about it.

Through honest reflection and self-realization, every single one of us has the power to be great and to do great things.  We have 100% control over how much thought we will put forth and the actions that will originate out of those thoughts.  We have absolute power over the life we lead and whether that life will lead us to laughter or reduce us to tears.

Having a dream is an important part of living a rewarding life, but simply dreaming about something won’t make it happen.  You must actually take the step of turning your dream into an expectation before you will ever achieve anything worth dreaming about.  Once you have done that, the work begins so you might as well make sure that you arrive at a meaningful and significant expectation for yourself if you are going to be working hard toward achieving it.

We cannot choose all of our circumstances, but we can make it a point to choose how we will deal with whatever our circumstances are so no matter what, make it a point to have your answer ready the next time someone asks you, “Well, what did you expect?”

If you are setting expectations for yourself and leading a fulfilling life, than I expect that your answer will be…greatness!
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This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Stop. Break it Down
Programming your mind to proactively solve problems

Are you feeling overwhelmed?  Do you sometimes struggle to understand an explanation that you think everyone else around you understands perfectly well?  Do you worry that there is not enough time in the day to get through your “to-do” list?  Do you avoid taking on certain projects because you simply don’t know where to begin?
 
Worry no longer.  The answer is simple.  Stop.  Break it down.  MC Hammer was right!
 
If you are experiencing any of the feelings or frustration associated with being overwhelmed, it is because you are either looking too far ahead or thinking about too much at once.
 
If you don’t believe me, conduct your own experiment. Identify someone that you know who is organized and who demonstrates good time management skills.  It shouldn’t be too difficult.  We all know someone who always appears to have it all together, sometimes annoyingly so.
 
Ask that person what their secret is.  She may start by telling you all about the tools that she uses to stay organized, but press her to give you more details about her personal system for managing her day to day calendar, and I am willing to bet you that she will tell you that she does not allow her mind to get ahead of her and that she tends to break everything down into smaller pieces.  So, let’s start there.
 
Stop.  Before you even start to break it down, stop and take a deep breath.  Remind yourself that someone else’s time frame and schedule is not necessarily your time frame or schedule.  Give yourself an opportunity to think, to listen, and to process what you are being told or asked.
 
When you see someone act calmly despite a whirlwind of activity around him, he is able to do so because he is processing all of the information on his own terms.  In effect, he is not allowing his environment to dictate the pace of his thought process.  He has found a way to take in information and process it as he normally would, while remaining impervious to what is happening around him.

Picture a quarterback who drops back to throw a pass.  He will typically have about three seconds to scan the field, check the position of three to four potential targets, anticipate the route that each receiver is running, make a choice as to what his option is, and then throw the pass.  By the way, this is happening while at least four pass rushers are coming right at him. 
 
Do you think it would be easy to feel overwhelmed in that situation?  You bet.  Most quarterbacks, however, have disciplined their minds to simply follow a process without getting distracted by what is going on around them.  You can do the same with a little practice.
 
The next time someone asks you a question that you do not know the answer to, don’t waste time pretending to know or worrying about what you don’t know.  Take the opportunity to find the answer responsibly and respectfully and give yourself the time to do so accurately.  The person who asked you the question will appreciate the effort and the accuracy.
 
When the demands start piling up at work, take a moment to decide what your top priority is and take the same amount of time to handle it as you would if it was the only thing you had to do that day, using the same amount of efficiency and care that you always do.  Then knock the next item off your list using the same technique.
 
Now that you’ve trained yourself to stop, let’s break it down.  Problems often feel more complicated than they actually are.  Many times, it is because you are trying to solve everything at once.  When you face adversity, prepare for a conflict, or simply take on the headaches that arise in your daily routine, you will be well served if you can break these matters down into smaller pieces.
 
As an example, if you are diagnosed with a serious illness, you will likely be unable to grasp every aspect of that illness all at once.  Even if you are positive minded and your sole focus is to get better, you are not going to get better immediately so don’t put yourself in the impossible situation of trying to figure it all out immediately.
 
Write out every question you can think of and then rank them in order of importance.  Then, set out to answer each question one at a time according to the rank you have assigned.  You will develop a much clearer picture of what you are up against and, most importantly, a stronger understanding of what you are going to do about it.
 
If you know that a conflict is brewing, say with a friend or a family member, it is natural for you to develop anxiety and to fill your mind with dread.  Most of the anxiety and dread you feel is because you have allowed your mind to race to the possible negative outcomes of this conflict.  Stop.  Break it down.
  
Put yourself through the paces of analyzing the cause of the conflict, any attempts (if any) to resolve that conflict, and possible next steps.  While you are at it, think about what the best case scenarios for resolution would be and then set a course toward that resolution.
 
When you put your mind to work resolving a problem instead of just worrying about that problem, your mind will not have time to focus on the anxiety and the dread that you would otherwise create because it is occupied with productive thoughts designed to help you achieve your desired outcome.
 
Remember.
Stop.
Break it down.
Repeat, if necessary.
 
You don’t necessarily have to play that song in your head, but if you follow those simple lyrics, you will greatly limit the number of times you ever feel overwhelmed again and you will put yourself in the best possible position to make a good decision regardless of what you are facing or the task at hand.

​This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

Mindset
When you have the right mindset, you form the foundation for good decision-making

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.
 
I don’t know who first said those words, but I grew up hearing them and I don’t remember a time when I was not aware of the meaning of that statement.  In fact, the older I get, the more meaningful this statement becomes.
 
So much of what you accomplish in life is only possible when you first believe you can accomplish it.  Said another way, so much of what goes unfulfilled in life is a result of a lack of belief in yourself and what might be possible should you be willing to try.
 
I have met many people who I thought had a ton of potential and that much of it was untapped.  I have also met a lot people who I felt were unique and as I got to know them better became even more convinced that they were capable of achieving at a level beyond where they were currently at in their life.  In these instances, it was my belief that the common thread was a fear of failure.
 
Fear of failure is a topic in itself for another time, but for the purposes of this example, let’s just say that it is a trait that is unique among humans.  For some reason, many more people than not tend to focus on what they cannot do versus what they can.  Worse, many people who think they cannot do something only think that is the case because they have never actually tried to do whatever it is they think they can’t do.
 
This thought process is akin to the one that you may use when determining what foods you don’t like.  In most cases, you may only think you don’t like something, but you have never actually tried it.
 
If you are one of these people, try this exercise.  Instead of thinking about what you cannot or have not done, focus on what you can do and have done.  Give yourself an opportunity to build some momentum toward the development of a positive mindset.  For example, at the end of a busy day, think about what you crossed off of your to-do list instead of the things that you just couldn’t get to.
 
There is nothing wrong with looking back on each day in order to evaluate what went right and what went wrong, but if you give yourself some credit for what you accomplished versus just kicking yourself for what you didn’t do, you may find that you eventually will empower yourself to start feeling better about what you are doing and to think about what else might be possible.
 
Another common element that can detract from a healthy and positive mindset is the concept of your comfort zone.  Your comfort zone is whatever circle you draw around yourself at any given time that allows you to feel safe and relaxed.  You need comfort in your life and there are definitely times when it is healthy to allow yourself to feel protected and warm and to enjoy the peace of mind that comes with those feelings.
 
You do not need as much comfort as you might think, however, and in that sense the importance of comfort is a bit over rated.  If you think about the greatest, most exciting times in your life, comfort is not likely to be one of the first thoughts those memories invoke.  In fact, those exciting times were likely only possible because you stepped out of your comfort zone.  You gave yourself the opportunity to learn something new or experience something totally different and outside of your routine.
 
Providing comfort to others is noble.  Seeking comfort from others, especially when times are tough, is necessary.  Retreating to your favorite chair or putting on your softest slippers at the end of a hard day is an essential luxury.
 
However, allowing your comfort zone to enable you to stand pat, to not venture into the unknown at least a little bit, or to somehow make it okay to not apply yourself toward worthwhile challenges is completely unacceptable.
 
Do you find that you approach new situations, such as a get together with a new neighbor or the start of a new class, with dread or that you concentrate on all of the things that could go wrong?  If so, recognize what you are doing.  While it may be easy to talk yourself out of attending one function or to put off taking that next class, making a habit of doing so will only lead to a very small and constantly diminishing comfort zone.
 
When you try something new, especially if it involves putting yourself out there for others to see, something will likely go wrong.  If, however, your mindset is positive and you choose to concentrate on the side of your mental ledger that keeps track of what goes right and what is gained, the things that don’t go so well won’t be nearly as important to you as they once were.
 
There is always room for improvement in just about everything that you do, but improvement isn’t possible unless you are out there doing something to begin with.  If you strive to improve as opposed to letting the thought that your endeavor won’t be perfect stop you from trying, you are moving forward with purpose and toward fulfillment and achievement.
 
When you take the steps that are necessary for you to develop a healthy and positive mindset, you also send a strong signal to those around you that you are confident and that you are dealing from a position of strength.  You indicate that you are someone who is interested in taking an active role in determining the outcome of situations with which you are involved.
 
When you have the right mindset, you form the foundation for good decision-making.  Once you make good decisions on a consistent basis, anything is possible!

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.

​You have aspired to be a manager since the start of your career.  You have been a dedicated student and you have followed directions.  Along the way, you have gained the knowledge and the expertise that is necessary for you to continue to advance and to add to your level of responsibility.
 
You have taken some big steps toward management, but the know-how that you have gained won’t necessarily make you ready to be an effective leader.  There are still at least two things that you will need to fully understand in order to be prepared when promotion day arrives.
 
First, you must realize that the primary change and biggest difference in your job going forward is the addition of the responsibility for others and the fact that you will no longer be assessed solely on your work results, but on the results of those for whom you are now responsible.
 
Second, if you are now reliant on those for whom you are responsible, you will need to quickly figure out how to put them in the best possible position to succeed.  The best way to do that is to understand the difference between teaching and telling.
 
I occasionally hear people say, “I can’t wait to be the boss so I can tell people what to do.”  If that is your perception of what it means to be a manager you are in for a rude awakening. 
 
Knowing how to do your job is very different than knowing how to help someone else know how to do their job.  Anybody can tell someone else what to do, but that will not help them understand why they are doing it or what its correlation is to their success.
 
Let’s start with this premise.  Don’t say it if you can’t explain it.
 
If you have kids, you already know that you can very quickly lose control of a discussion and look like you have no idea what you are talking about the second you use a word or repeat a saying that you cannot clearly explain to your inquisitive child.  You must understand what you are talking about if you are going to have any chance of assisting your child to understand what you are talking about.
 
The same is true when you are working with employees.  Most vocations have their own lingo.  The police definitely use their own vernacular.  Lawyers like to throw a lot of Latin around.  In the credit union world, we like to abbreviate.  That’s all great and maybe even necessary, at times, but if you are going to talk the talk you better first understand what you are talking about.
 
Another must in teaching is to understand the “why” behind what you are relating.  If your answer to the question of why a procedure is in place is that “it’s just the way we have always done it”, you are likely falling into the trap of telling and not teaching.
 
By the way, this also applies to your interaction with clients.  If you have an unhappy customer on your hands and you find that you are unable to articulate your policy and its application to that person, you are going to be in a very uncomfortable situation.
 
Your ability to teach will not only help you develop employees and effectively resolve disputes with customers, it also directly correlates to your ability to advance.  In a similar way that a student who thoroughly understands the subject matter is much more likely to get an “A” on the test, the employee or manager who demonstrates command of her area of responsibility will likely be the first one considered when a promotional opportunity presents itself.
 
Conversely, a student who simply repeats what his teacher has said and an employee who merely recites the employee handbook are not likely to be the ones next called upon to lead a collaborative discussion or take on an important assignment.
 
Telling someone to do something or that a project is due takes very little time at all.  Effective teaching, however, can require significant time.  Account for that by preparing your employees well in advance of a key deadline or progress measurement.  A successful teaching and learning process generally relies on some repetition, a little bit of positive reinforcement, and at least one real life application of the concept or procedure.  If you realize this ahead of time and plan accordingly, you will put your employees in position to advance, which will help you to continue your success.
 
Telling is essentially unilateral and the act of telling someone what to do does not necessarily require an understanding of the situation or even two willing parties because there is no guarantee that the person being told wants to be part of the process.
 
Teaching is collaborative by its very nature because it requires at least one party to teach and one party to learn.  Collaborative efforts lead to a greater understanding of each other and the needs of your organization.
 
Whether you are already a manager or you aspire to be one, whether you are working with students or co-workers, when you are next given an opportunity to teach, take it.  In fact, make it a habit and you will undoubtedly move forward as will those around you. 

This article is part of Scott Arney's educational series, entitled The Serial Decision Maker.